Are You Vulnerable?

by Jan Tincher

Have you ever been to a party and someone came up to you and said, "My, you look fat." Or "My, you look skinny." Or "My, you look stupid." You get the idea.

If you are already having problems with whatever issue they've mentioned, those words will have a serious impact on you. Even if the person came right back and said, "I was only kidding. I didn't mean it." His or her apology won't be what you'll remember, the apology won't be the words you run back and forth in your mind. Just like that, your shoulders start slumping, you lose your zest, and you want to go home. And you are seriously ready to make someone else's life a living hell when you get there.

Why? Because someone said something that hurt your feelings? You know the pity party you are about to embark on? NO ONE has any fun there. Why put yourself through that?

You see, if someone hadn't tripped your trigger, you would have had a great time. *They* didn't hurt you. They only tripped a trigger that you have kept near the surface. You LET them hurt you simply by being vulnerable in that area, by keeping your vulnerable outlook close by so that they COULD hurt you.

Can you imagine what your response would be if you weren't vulnerable? If they said "My, you look fat", but in actuality you are thin? You'd laugh it off, wouldn't you?

Why not take charge of your life? Why not take it upon yourself to be prepared for something like this? Be prepared to laugh it off. Because it's going to happen as long as you have excess weight, a unusual hair style, pimples, glasses, or anything else that people make fun of.

*** TIP: Did you notice that I didn't say *as long as you have YOUR excess weight, unusual hair, etc.?* Because if you keep claiming it, you'll keep having it. The more you say *I'm fat* or whatever when you look in the mirror, the more you will keep the problem. The more you say derogatory words when describing yourself, silently or out loud, the more you impress those ideas into your subconscious, the more you will bring them into your life. The more you unconsciously invite people to make fun of you. ***

Here's how to fix that.

The minute someone has hurt your feelings, or touched a vulnerable area, start imagining them in plaid pajamas. Their pajamas aren't just any pajamas, though. These pajamas have a video playing in one of the big squares of the plaid on their chest. The video has good things happening. It has your mom, your dad, your brother or sister or grandma or grandpa, or someone you respect telling you all good things that you've accomplished in your life. They're patting your back and you are feeling terrific.

You are paying attention to the video -- and as you are paying attention to it, your shoulders are going back, your back is straight, you have a smile on your face -- until the person has left, knowing he or she can't get a rise out of you. You have just gone up a notch on their respect barometer, and next time you'll be able to talk with them closer to equals instead of you with *sucker* tattooed on your forehead. Sucker is just another word for vulnerable. Don't sweat it. You know how to take care of it.

*** I realize there are some who don't have any good memories to use in their video. If that's the case, click here: Http:// If you have any questions after reading it, feel free to write me at ***

Thanks for reading, Jan

Copyright 2001, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Learn unique strategies and techniques for personal success from Jan Tincher online at

AboutTheAuthor : Jan Tincher, nationally recognized expert in Hypnotherapy & Neuro-Linguistic Programming, teaches strategies and techniques to help you live a better, happier life! She studied under Richard Bandler and Anthony Robbins, and has a successful practice in Forest City, Iowa. She is an award winning author, and you can read many of her articles at . You can read what people say about her at

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