Absence Makes The Fear Go Yonder!
Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action. Man is the only member of the animal kingdom that can control the emotions he experiences on a day to day basis. But, in the negative antagonistic environment we live in, you will need a good healthy dose of something to turn your water into wine.
Have you ever heard the saying, "A rolling stone gathers no moss?" Very true not only for a rock, but for you and I also. Let me explain. The longer we dwell on something the more emotions, involving that situation, are digging their roots down deep inside of us.
The deeper those roots go the more strangle hold they have on our thinking and ultimately, our actions. Have you ever experienced this? You are going through a painful situation, your brain is like a speeding bullet, fear has surrounded you, and you're up to your neck in alligators?
Now what do you do? You begin to analyze every possible way to deliver yourself, and, with every idea that comes, you shoot it down. Sound familiar?
A Penny For Your Thoughts!
I know; that's just about all you think your solutions are worth. But, maybe you're just trying to change the wrong flat tire. Now stay with me. You see, the "problem" you are trying to solve, may be the hardest pathway to your solution. Much of the time, a problem will disappear faster if we take ourselves away from the problem.
Why, because we left it alone? Oh no. It's because in the heat of the battle, at the moment of decision, your reasoning is not going to make good decisions. And, granted, the problem needs solving. But, remember, the longer you dwell on the problem, the more the problem stays in front of your mind. Someone said, "I can't take my mind off the problem; it has to be dealt with." Says Who? Or Whom, if you prefer.
How do you know, when you're all wound up inside, and just one step away from falling in the bottomless pit, how to deal with it anyway? You ever heard this? "Love comes around when you're busy doing things you like?" Well guess what? Solutions are a lot like that too.
I'm Flying This Coop!
As long as you are going to spend enormous amounts of energy to solve the problem, you're going to find the problem hanging on you like a stink on a skunk. Get out of there. Go do something you like. Make yourself absent and the fear will go yonder.
You won't know why or even care. All you'll know is; you feel more in control, you feel more confident, you'll feel like your elevator is no longer stuck between floors, and you'll be mentally ready to give the problem the boot.
The problem will still be there when you get back. I know you didn't want to hear that, but it will. Why do we do this? Because, most likely, you are not going to be able to see the problem until you make sure you're not part of the problem and making it worse.
Sometimes we have to make ourselves absent from a situation in order to see the situation. The best answers always come when the mind is calm and relaxed.
Your solution is as close as your breath. It might not come as immediately as you want it, and it might be harder than Chinese algebra to solve it, but, the sooner you make yourself absent emotionally and, sometimes physically helps, the sooner you'll begin to notice the hoot and holler is about to come.
Get Back Jack!
Try this simple technique sometime. Next time the devil is trying to tap dance on your forehead, put down everything you are doing and walk away for fifteen minutes. Find anything you can that causes a warm and fuzzy feeling for you. There is something you are very fond of; something that really calms you down and makes you feel good.
I don't care how bad the problem looks. You CAN take your mind off of it for fifteen minutes and you know what that thing is you love. It could be a person, a painting, a stump, nah....I 'm kidding, I don't care what it is as long as it makes you feel good.
Now You're Cooking With Gas!
Now, fix a picture of it in your mind. Relive every moment in your memory banks of every incident that comes into your minds eye. CAUTION...only do this with wonderful things from your past that you have very fond feelings about; things that give you exciting feelings of empowerment and energy.
It goes without saying this would be very counter productive to do otherwise. And, if you will do this with all the concentration you can muster, you will have made yourself absent from the problem, you will have sent the fear and anxiety into oblivion and nature promises you, you will come back fifteen minutes later with a better perspective on how to solve the problem.
And, even if you don't come back with an immediate solution, you will have a calmer mind, a sharper focus, a big smile, and everyone around you will want to know if you're a little bit pregnant. Nah. I'm kidding. :>)
The Day The Stuff Hit The Fan!
In conclusion I have a secret to tell you. Tonight, as I'm writing this article is Feb 17, my birthday. And, I have just had one of the biggest challenges today that I have had in a long time. I mean BIG challenge. And, on my birthday even. And if that's not enough to make you wanna spit. You know, one of those days like; if today was a fish, I'd throw it back in the river kinda days. :>)
Well, I love to write and sing. So, I took my own advice. I took myself physically away from the area where the challenges were and started writing this article. And because this is something I love within fifteen minutes my mind was no longer fixated on the problem, my emotions had calmed down, my focus was on writing, doing the thing I love, and all my confidence has returned that a solution will be found. I don't see it yet, but that's not important. It's there, I will find it. You can too.
Richard Vegas ©2003
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