When telling a lie it is best to keep it simple, but when you need to tell a whopper:
- Consider it from all angles, list in your head, or on paper, every conceivable question that might be asked - if you couldn't go to a leaving party last night because you were in Milton Keynes - what train station did you go from, why were you going, who did you see, why did you see him/her, where was your mobile phone, why didn't you answer it, how come you didn't see the e-mail etc, etc.
- Base it on fact - i.e. if you have been to Milton Keynes before on business you can talk about getting there, why you went, who you saw etc, with authority.
- Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are lying to - would you believe it?
- Try it out on friends.
- Don't touch your face - study the classic 17 ways a Sicilian knows your lying and don't do them.
- Set the bullshit up days in advance - if you want to take Friday off - start moaning of feeling ill on Tuesday - keep your eyes open for something that is going around and claim that - take it a step further - co-ordinate with colleagues and invent an epidemic.
- Believe the bullshit - get yourself in the frame of mind - when you believe , it becomes truth, honest.
- Turn it on its head - if anyone questions the lie - righteous indignation is often enough to get them to back down
- Have fun.
These are just some practical ways of establishing yourself as a liar - it doesn't happen overnight - and some people will never get it.
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