The ABC’s of Choosing a Soul Mate Online

Do you want to know the truth about someone you've seen in an 'online dating service'? Then read on...

Wouldn’t you love to correspond ONLY with online prospects that met your requirements? Wouldn’t you like to subject them to a Personality Reading that could tell you how closely they fit your specs? Think that’s impossible to "know" them before you meet them? It’s not impossible! You can choose suitable dates before you meet them. By following three systematic steps you’ll be able to read a prospect’s profile and read between the lines. You’ll be able to get a reading on how they measure up on qualities that are important to you, and on qualities that are absolute deal breakers. (And if you want, for this month only, you can get a F*R*E*E* Personality Reading on anybody you want by Yours Truly just go to www.tinyurl.com/b7euc).

A. The First Step is to Know What You Want 1. The first part of A is figuring out exactly what you DO want out of a partner. I am always amazed to discover how many of my clients don’t know what they want! Is it hard for you? What are the three absolute must haves for your potential mate?

It’s usually best to choose internal qualities versus external qualities. For example, “slim” is an external quality—it can come or go depending on physical mobility, hormones, medications etc. “Fitness oriented” is an internal quality and therefore permanent. Regardless of the circumstances, this person will strive to be fit. Another example is affluent which also depends upon external circumstances such as the stock market, or the job market, or other possible slings and arrows. Industrious, on the other hand, is an internal, permanent quality.

Here’s a list of some positive internal qualities (it is by no means exhaustive): a. Honest b. Transparent c. Generous d. Compassionate e. Expressive f. Intelligent g. Courageous h. Creative i. Loyal j. Faithful k. Industrious l. Frugal m. Adventurous n. Determined o. Easy going p. Good sense of humor q. Integritous r. Secure

Which three of these qualities resonate with you? Can you think of other ones that do? How does it feel to think you could have these qualities in everyone you CHOOSE to date?

2. The second part of knowing what you want is knowing what you DON’T want In this step, we need you to come up with three deal breakers. Is this easier that figuring out what you want? Harder? You can turn any of the above into a deal breaker by making it the negative, e.g., unfaithful, no integrity, lazy (as opposed to industrious), spendthrift (as opposed to frugal), unimaginative (as opposed to creative) etc…, Here’s a non-exhaustive list of negative qualities, or qualities that may make it hard to be with someone…

a. Addicted b. Self-absorbed c. Lazy d. Selfish e. Angry f. Non-expressive g. Rigid h. Controlling i. Insecure j. Immoral k. No integrity l. Unfaithful m. Opportunistic n. Jealous o. Explosive p. Weak q. Fearful r. Uncaring s. Rude t. Spendthrift u. Withholding

B. The Second Step is to Find (Intuit) the Qualities You’ve Identified. While this may seem like Advanced Trigonometry, it really isn’t that hard! And you will get better and better at it as you go along.

Go online and browse through random profiles. The randomness is VERY important because it’s easier to build up your intuition muscle when you’re not attached to the outcome. Capisce?

1. Find some one with a MUST HAVE quality. Read as many profiles as you need to until you find at least one that says integrity to you (an example of a ‘must have’). You do not have to be the least bit attracted to this person! You just have to be able to read the profile and have it resonate integrity through and through. Try rating it on a scale of 1 – 10. (It should probably be up there at 8.5 and above to qualify as an “I have this quality”. If this is difficult for you, go to my website, www.empowermentdating.com to get some more tips! Or ask a friend to help you. 2. Find someone with one of your MUST NOT HAVE qualities. This could be harder because prospects do not describe in detail their bad points! None-the-less, it is possible. Just keep reading until you come to someone’s profile who says Unreliable between the lines.

C. The Third Step is to Start Rating Those Prospects!

Now comes the fun part. You get to actually apply what you have learned to someone you actually might be interested in!

Go to an appealing prospect. Take each of the three qualities and rate this person on each of these qualities. Just try and use your intuition (you have it, you just may have to learn how to access it). For example, let’s say that you wanted your prospective partner to be integritous, industrious, and faithful. Just put a number (1 -10) next to each one. The key in doing this exercise is to NOT THINK TOO hard about it. This is also a really good time to get someone else’s feedback call a friend. (Or get your F*R*E*E* Personality Reading on anybody you want by Yours Truly. Just go to www.tinyurl.com/b7euc).

There is a caveat. You may not be able to get a reading on every quality in every prospect. This can happen for a variety of reasons: • The online dating service’s questions don’t allow for full expression.

• The quality in question is not hugely important to the prospect.

• The prospect is ambivalent about the quality in question (i.e., knows it’s important to be faithful, but is too scared to commit to just one person).

• Some people are less transparent than others. Some people have compartmentalized parts of their personality, making them very difficult to read.

The good news is that if you work with me, you will be able to know when someone is not transparent. And you don’t have to choose them! Or you can decide to get to know them first before you disqualify them. It’s up to you. I hope this helps!

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