Panic Attacks Wrecking Your Life? You Can Come Back!

Copyright (c) 2009 Riley West

The first time I had a panic attack I was getting on an airplane! After that, my life was a mess and not the same again until I got a handle on it and it went away. I made it go away and never come back and you can too!

For me the panic attacks lasted several years, about 5 or 6. I fought them every way I could think of including alcohol, running, meditating, and various other things.

When I think back it looks like panic attacks couldn't possibly have entered my life. I was a risk taker.

I was a boxer. I was an airplane pilot. I was a horseman for years in Montana. I still ride motorcycles!

I was a long ways from being easily intimidated or bullied. No one ever picked on me and I sure as heck wasn't a sissy.

I went through High School in Montana and went into college there, too. I spent several great years chasing degrees and women and married a real sweetheart.

Now, I have been nervous many times, but I wasn't prepared for what a panic attack could do to you.

At 30 years of age I was 6'2" and 190 lbs. I was in great shape! The panic attacks came out of the blue.

By that time owned my own businesses for 6 years. I was at a convention in L.A. and a friend drove me to LAX so I could go back to Oregon, the rugged Northwest and my family.

I was sitting in the waiting area watching the incredible variety of people you see at LAX when I heard the boarding call.

At this time I had been an aircraft pilot for 6 years and had my own aircraft. I should have flown it down but it was cheaper and much faster to take the jet.

I got in line. We started moving toward the tunnel to board the plane when something "went off" in my stomach. I was suddenly VERY uneasy. Within seconds I wanted to run but I thought I was crazy AND I didn't want anyone else to know.

Somehow I got on that plane. By now the panic attack was in full bloom. I was pouring sweat. I was shaking. I was afraid...but not afraid of something that made sense. I really felt like I could die right there, right then. The fear was immense and made me feel crazy because, as near as I could tell, there was no reason for this.

Something was wrong with me! I was OK an hour ago and now I'm losing it. I was afraid I'd have to panic further and demand they land and let me off. I wanted to run.

I sat there, in my window seat, looking out at the scenery, like I used to love to do, but now all I had were legions of confused, evil feeling ideas swirling around inside my head.

I had to keep them in there. I couldn't let anybody know! Every time the flight attendant ask me something I just mumbled that I didn't feel well.

That was the longest flight of my life even though it was less than two hours. I had thought about jumping out. I thought about my wife and kids. I tried to force myself to only think about positive things and, about an hour and a half after the panic attack started, it started to fade...slowly.

I was so happy and relieved. Then I started worrying that it would come back! Up, down, the whole rest of the flight.

When I got on the ground I went straight to the bar and drank a double of whisky.

I got my baggage and walked out to the car. I was thinking things like "What the hell was that!" And then I remembered the fear of it coming back! So I stuffed it.

When I got home I didn't tell my wife about it.

The next day things seemed normal and I forgot about it. Until the panic attacks returned. I couldn't get onto an elevator. I couldn't meet with business associates in a closed room. I made a LOT of excuses.

The next few years were damn tough. I tried everything I could. I knew what they were now, but I didn't know how to get rid of them, until I fell across a book that I can't recall the name of.

I went down by the river in my little sports car to read the book. I cried when I saw myself explained exactly in that book. It had several therapies, mostly mind work and meditating, and some phrases to repeat. It took a while but I felt immediate partial relief and encouragement.

The panic attacks were the scariest things I had ever dealt with up till then and the idea of them coming back was chilling. But they never did.

Later, I found out that once you get these things to leave you can get rid of them at will. Once you are to that point, the fear of the attacks returning loses it's power and you can start living a full life again.

You'll be OK...don't worry!

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