How to Nurture a Responsible, Respectful Child

Can a toddler help with the household chores?

Think of this ... a child who puts her dirty clothes in the linen basket rather than dropping them on the floor, who clears her room without being told, who clears the dinner table without groaning and who happily gives up a morning to help out with the grocery shopping. Every parent's fantasy? Yes! Will it come true? Truthfully, probably not. But it is possible to raise a responsible child, one who will do her fair share of the chores with only the odd moan - if you start early!

Toddlers can't be expected to be responsible for regular chores, but it's never too early to delegate your child a little responsibility. As most pre-school children enjoy copying their parents, now might be the perfect time to start to teach your child that chores are there for every one to take their fare share of. Assign him safe and simple chores, such as picking up toys, carrying non-breakables between different rooms, mixing or stirring while you're cooking, dry unbreakable dishes, pots and pans etc. Also get him into the habit of automatically putting his rubbish into the wastepaper basket, trash or recycling bin.

To keep him interested however, you'll have to make sure that chores are fun. Supply placemats with child appeal when he's laying the table for lunch (or why not make your own by laminating illustrations chosen from some of the books in Scruffy's Bookshop?), dance around the room while dusting or why not play a rhythm on the dried pots and pans with a wooden spoon?

Make sure chores are a family affair. The family that cleans, cooks or gardens together will get more done, and have a lot more fun doing it. As long as chores are allocated out fairly (and children are eagle-eyed when it comes to fair division of labour) then this sort of family togetherness will encourage your children to keep doing their share as they grow up.

Keep your demands reasonable, and even if your toddler is keen to help with the chores, don't ask him to more than he is capable or happy to do. This might cause him to become resentful of helping out as he gets older, when his more expert help will be much more useful to you.

Try not to complain about having to do chores yourself. If you grumble and complain everytime you have to wash the dishes or sort the laundry ready for washing, you're sending a very easily understood message to your toddler that chores are not fun and boring, and to be avoided if at all possible. Instead try to make them more fun by playing your favourite music or singing as you work.

It's likely that you'll end up being surprised at how many household chores your normal toddler is capable of undertaking, but do remember that most, if not all chores will need adult supervision and possibly a bit of help. But try not to assist too much, a chore that's done "all by myself" is always more satisfying for a toddler - and that satisfaction will begin to lay the foundations for your child to grow up helpful and responsible around the home.

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