What's Your Financial Advisor Story?

Remember Ben Franklin's definition of insanity; "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result".

I'm taking the liberty to change the quote to read;

"Doing the same thing over and over again with the same limiting beliefs, limiting emotions and unmet needs and expecting a different result".

Your story was contrived and imprinted into your mind a long time ago by the experiences and the people that were in your life and you have been working and working to disprove the story ever since only to recreate and imprint the same or similar story over and over again.

Your internal limiting beliefs, memories, perceptions and scripts all fit into your story that was deeply imprinted in you a long time ago. Functional or not, all internal limiting beliefs, memories, perceptions and scripts are the foundation or the base on which you establish all meaning in your life. In order for you to feel safe you will continue to re-create your story in some way,shape or form repeating the same behaviors over and over again even though they do not work.

My survival based story was based on what my father said to me when I was 7 or 8 years old, "you will never have any money". One day he also said to me, "you are so selfish, what are people going to think of you". These two imprinted beliefs were said after my mother and father found me on a mechanical pony ride in a department store while they were shopping. I was having the time of my life. I had won a dollar in a long forgotten competition and the money was burning a whole in my pocket so I changed it into dimes and rode the pony while waiting for my mother and father. No - in later years I didn't go the race track. :-) In fact, I've never been to one.

This was an early example of trying to get money to buy me happiness. At a young age I believed that money would buy me happiness. I was holding the dollar bill for quite a while and it wasn't making me any happier. So I thought that I would get rid of it on the pony. On a deeper level I was likely feeling that there was something wrong with me because the money wasn't making me happy of fulfilled, which is what a lot of people do.

The money doesn't make them happy so they go out and get stuff. Some are mortal and some are material that includes; the business, the spouse, the kids, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the cars, the cottage, the boat, the timeshare, the two - three holidays a year, the golf membership, the personal trainer and your investments - do you truly feel fulfilled?

So why was I wanting to get rid of the money which I believed I wanted? If you have heard me speak you will remember my story about when I was 8 years old. My mother used to come to me and tell me that there wasn't any money for groceries or Christmas. That my father had gone and done it again, that he had bought too much and not sold enough. My mother and father constantly fought about money.

So I thought if I could get some of it, I would be happy and fulfilled. On the contrary, once I got some money and when it didn't make me feel happy and fulfilled it reminded me of how unhappy and unfulfilled I really was so I had to get rid of it for something else.

I started at a very young age with the imprinting of my story of not feeling happy and fulfilled. This drove my need to sell which I worked extremely hard at to create the results. Then I created the result. So what I thought. I don't feel happy and fulfilled. Then I better buy the next thing. I still don't feel happy and fulfilled and worse yet I don't have any money and time and people don't appreciate me and what will people think! I better work and work and work and sell and sell and sell.

Versus building a strong personal foundation by working with a coach and building a business.

Subconsciously you keep remembering the story and related stories and you continue to work and work and work to prove that the story is correct. Without realizing it, you associate all meaning in your life and business based on this story and you will work and work and work to your long term disadvantage to validate this story.

Your story in essence validates your needs, beliefs and emotions and you will mistrust, ignore, disbelieve, invalidate and even attack anything that doesn't fit into your pattern of survival.

Your story has become your religion. Note that I didn't say God.

Because that is what you are trying to do is to survive and coming from the place of survival, that is all you will ever do. You will however survive in a good way having the business, the spouse, the kids, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the cars, the cottage, the boat, the timeshare, the two - three holidays a year, the golf membership, the personal trainer and your investments - do you truly feel fulfilled?

"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result", even though it doesn't work is what is safe and predictable and tricks you into thinking that you are being effective.

When you consider expanding your comfort zone, it is always unpredictable and will likely make you feel even more anxiety so you better go back to the devil that you know.

The repeated patterns of, "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result", even though it doesn't work is familiar.

The familiar and predictable locks you into another set of limiting beliefs of, "maybe this is fate" or "maybe this is all there is" or "maybe I wasn't meant to be successful as I want to be".

The familiar and predictable locks you into repeated patterns of safety and survival trying to get your needs met, combined with limiting beliefs and limiting emotions sabotages your vision, dreams, creativity, intention all leading to despair and to an ever deepening rut.

What is the difference between a rut and a grave? 6 feet.

The compounded repetition and familiarity of this story has become your jailer.

Your story today is you are likely struggling and hanging onto what you have. What you have has become who you are and you are maintaining your story to survive, even though survival doesn't work which could, in the end, have long term consequences.

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