Are We Teaching Our Children To Feel Entitled?
A question that seems to stand out in any negotiation is, "What can you give me?" It's interesting how human nature tends to make us feel that we are entitled to certain things, no matter how big or small they are.
It's everywhere
We feel entitled at home. We demand things from our spouses and children, sometimes approaching them inappropriately.
We feel entitled at work. We expect raises, bonuses, or additional benefits based on our time on the job, even if our performance doesn't warrant them.
We feel entitled in the car. Somehow, we tend to think that arriving at our destination is more important than the next driver's purpose.
We feel entitled with our finances. Even when we've allowed ourselves to get into serious debt (that we agreed to pay back), we still manage to convince ourselves that we have a right to spend our paychecks as we see fit. We are often willing to delay paying a bill just to satisfy a temporary desire.
We feel entitled with God. We think that when we become Christians, life is supposed to get easier. We think that we should be happy and worry-free all the time.
Are we spreading this?
Many of us can also see this sense of entitlement in our children. Every time they see something new in the store or in a television commercial, they immediately begin begging us to buy it.
Our children are so used to getting things just by asking - rather than working for things and earning them - that they have no concept of how the real world operates. Some teens really believe that they can easily earn a comfortable living with just a high school education. We know that is not the norm.
When we look at all of the areas of our lives where we feel entitled, it's easy to see that, as parents, we are not setting a good example for our children. We have to demonstrate the kind of lifestyle that we want our children to follow.
How do we correct it?
At home, we should lead by example and show our families the respect that we ask of them. We must do this with our spouses to model for our children the keys to building a strong, Christian marriage. We should also do this with our children not only to create a healthy and open relationship with them, but also to teach our children how to interact with others.
At work, let's practice 2 Timothy 2:15: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." (NIV)
We should ask ourselves if we are doing our best at work. Is there an area of our performance where we could improve? If Jesus was our boss, is there anything that we would do differently? Have we finished our assignments well enough to deserve extra benefits of any kind?
Before getting in the car, we can pray away any thoughts of road rage. We can ask God for help with time management, enabling us to leave early enough to account for any unexpected delays on the road. We should also pray for a clear mind so that we are able to identify and avoid potential accidents.
In the area of our finances, we should remember to honor all of our debt obligations. We can seek God's help to avoid the temptations that tend to find us right around payday. We should try to be content with the things we have and carefully evaluate our spending decisions.
We should re-evaluate our relationship with God. For reassurance of His promises, we can always go to His Word.
While it is true that God has promised to give us the desires of our heart, that promise was a conditional promise. Psalm 37:4 tells us, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (NIV)
This verse tells us that we have to seek God and His will first. Then, our desires will line up with the desires God has for us. Once we truly put God first, we will notice that our desires even seem to change a little bit.
God never promised us that life would be easy. In John 16:33, Jesus told us, "In this world you will have trouble." But He finishes the verse with this wonderful reminder: "But take heart! I have overcome the world." (NIV)
As we move forward, let's be more aware of our expectations of God and of those around us. Let's make a stronger effort to be more courteous, diligent, responsible, and appreciative for all God has given us.
About the Author
Ozeme J. Bonnette is a financial coach, speaker, and the author of Get What Belongs to You: A Christian Guide to Managing Your Finances. After working at Merrill Lynch, she chose to focus on increasing financial literacy. She teaches Biblical Economics and speaks to groups and organizations throughout the U.S. She earned 3 Bachelor's degrees at Fresno State and an MBA at UCLA's Anderson School. Find her at http://www.thechristianmoneycoach.com .
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