How to Be Fair in Matters of the Heart
This month's tradition of exchanging heart-shaped chocolates and red-hued roses has so much opportunity for love and kindness. It's a holiday season of permission to express love to each other, and really share our hearts with each other. So many friends, family and companions are taking the opportunity to treat each other with special kindness to show their affection. But for those of us engaging in this Valentine's love-fest, I want to issue a question: you might be going all out to share your heart, but are you covering the basics at the same time, or neglecting them? In other words, are you following the rules of Relationship-101 and being fair when it comes to matters of the heart?
Think about all the ways that we neglect to treat others with basic kindnesses, all the days of the year between February 15th through February 13th. While it's easy to buy presents and candy for loved ones (mom, classmates, girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband, etc) on Valentine's Day, when the greeting card aisle at the store is glaring in pink and red, the real challenge of selfless love and higher consciousness comes from being fair in matters of the heart. Every day of the year. All the time. And that takes practice. Let me explain.
By going back to childhood fairness basics, we can all agree on several critical rules:
Tell the truth
This may sound simple, but really think about the ways that you might be deceiving someone else and possibly even yourself. Perhaps you're in a store trying on clothes with your friend. When she shows you the dress she wanted and asks you what you think, what will you do? If the truth is that you don't think the dress is flattering to her, soften your heart. Don't lie and say you love it. A true friend can see through your untruth. Instead, tell her that you know she loves the dress, and while it might not be your taste, you are delighted at how she radiates from loving it so much. While it would not be the first choice for you, admit that you like the delight that it brings to her. By maintaining your honesty, kindly, others will always know they can trust you to give them your genuine opinion when solicited. Be fair. Don't use deceit to get what you want, or even to make those around you happy.
Think about how the other person might be feeling
Hardened hearts can often be some of the most destructive preventers of genuine love between two people. During heated conversation, take a moment to give yourself a fairness-check. Be careful not to say unnecessary hurtful words, even when the other person might be doing just that. Rise above to a standard of fairness. You might remember this rule being phrased differently: treat others how you would like to be treated. Give others the benefit of the doubt when in conversation. Especially when emotions run high, you are liable to jump to dramatic conclusions. Be kind and fair. Give some time for conversation to cool down before resolving disagreements.
Take your Valentine's love up a notch by remembering the basics of love, found nestled in the sandbox of our childhood. The rules of fairness are as true today as they were then, and as our lives become more complex, it's crucial that we take time to remember this foundation of loving people better. When it comes to matters of the heart… be fair!
About the Author
Dawn McIntyre, Professional Spiritual Intuitive, is an expert in leading men and women into higher states of expansion and beauty consciousness. Join her on the Boldly Beautiful exclusive member's community at http://www.boldlybeautiful.com for daily interaction and guidance in manifesting your beautiful life, from the inside out.
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