9 Keys To Help Make Good Habits Stick
Positive change is inevitable. When we resist this change, negative consequences steadily build. However, when we work with this change, we not only minimize unnecessary pain, we also begin to experience our lives as a conscious adventure.
The challenge is that negative habits are often rooted deeply, and stepping into positive change can be a confusing and frustrating ordeal. Because I continue to study and practice this subject so deeply I am motivated to share what I have learned. Consider the key steps outlined below and move more effectively into positive change.
CONNECT TO THE WHY
Why exercise? Why eat healthfully? Why achieve material success? The difficulty for me early on was that I could not connect deeply enough to the "WHY". I already knew how to "succeed" and "achieve". I needed a better reason to do so. Find reasons to step into constant positive change that are so powerful that they will carry you through any joy or sorrow. Find reasons so powerful that they will inspire you to strengthen good habits throughout an entire lifetime.
KNOW WHAT A GOOD HABIT IS
Once you connect to the "WHY", the next step is to make certain that you know what a good habit is. Does your nutritional plan come from Cosmo? Does your exercise plan come from GQ? My experience is that an authentic spiritual teacher is the best guide. Make long term happiness your goal and find out what enlightened men and women say about exercise, nutrition, and vocation.
CREATE A VERY CLEAR PICTURE
Visualize a new habit as a natural part of your life. Richly imagine all the ways it benefits yourself and others. Feel the truth of it in your heart. Now trust that truth and let it go. If the habit is a good one for you to have, it is inevitable that its realization will come to pass. From time to time, repeat this. Allow room for your picture to adjust as you learn more about yourself and discover higher ideals.
IN THE BEGINNING KEEP YOUR NEW HABIT A SECRET
It is very important that you develop new habits for reasons that are your own. The seeds of your good intentions must be planted in a place so deep that nobody else can dig them up. This is the best way. Later, you can share your intentions with someone that you trust. Doing so at this time can actually add strength to the development of your new habit.
USE WHATEVER TOOLS YOU CAN
Keep a picture of someone with positive qualities. Write and speak beneficial affirmations. Listen to inspirational recordings. Meditate. Get mystical; use astrological timing and the cycles of the moon. The mind is very impressionable. My experience is that, with the right tools, change can be nearly instantaneous.
COMMIT TO ACTION
Make and maintain positive changes in your behavior. Allow the experience of the body to be in sync with the experience of the mind. My personal method is to anchor myself in some small change to which I know I can commit, but to act in ways that actually exceed that change. That minimum new action becomes my fallback, until it becomes so natural that I am ready for the next incremental commitment. In this way I balance discipline with patience.
BE PREPARED FOR RELATIONSHIPS TO CHANGE
Can you be so dedicated to living your very best life that you are willing to step into positive change even if it means that your current relationships make dramatic shifts? Negative habits are usually tied up in the lives of people we love. For me this has been the most challenging aspect of change. It has required the development of communication skills far beyond what I could have imagined, and it has required a willingness to let go, at least temporarily, of many beautiful people.
CREATE ACCOUNTABILITY
When we make a promise only to ourselves, the mind can trick us into believing that it is okay to break or delay that promise. Work with an experienced teacher or personal coach in regular way. Receive the support, guidance, and inspiration that will keep you going. Investing in oneself in this way is more valuable than a college education and only a fraction of the cost.
PERSEVERE
A life dedicated to continuously stepping into positive change is a life filled with challenge. You will be powerfully confronted with questions about your basic nature, and the relationships you have chosen may be tested to the extreme. However, along the way you will also see the transient nature of your challenges and experience a life of increasing peace and purpose.
About the Author
This article was written by Kevin Michael Kiley, a highly skilled life coach and successful entrepreneur. After graduating from Dartmouth, he helped build three companies before engaging in a profound spiritual search. To learn whether Kevin may be a good coach for you, contact him through his website. He will be pleased to speak with you. http://www.kevinmichaelkiley.com
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