Divorced? Self-Care Tips to Help You Heal
If you're divorced, I don't have to tell you all about the emotional trials that accost you. They simply are zero fun. Let's look at some of them more deeply though, and perhaps you can let them out of yourself and get some resolution from the discomfort you've been carrying around.
Divorce makes you struggle with self doubt. "What did I do wrong? Aren't I capable of choosing a spouse? My family will think less of me. How will I be able to survive on my own?"
Divorce makes you suffer fear. "I am so afraid this divorce will be harmful to my children. How will I be able to hold down a job, run a house and take care of the kids by myself? The financial burden seems overwhelming on my salary."
There is an entire psychological array of negative feelings you go through when you are divorced, like: abandonment, fear, anger, and loss, grief, anxiety, sorrow, guilt, denial and depression. Each of these is inside you to some degree or another, which is why I'm writing an article about self-care. With all this buffeting, you've simply got to put some self-care techniques into place, or you won't be there for yourself, first, and your kids, secondly. Each of you deserves the best.
Self-care techniques.
- Learn how to meditate. Ten minutes of meditation will help you drain away negative thinking and restore your sense of can-do. - Exercise is another way to drain off stress and restore a sense of well-being. Find some exercise that you really enjoy.
- Organize yourself. Pick one closet, or your desk, and totally put it into order. If you become organized, your mind knows that nothing is pending and relaxes. If you will tackle one thing at a time, in due process, your entire home will be organized.
- Become a conscious eater and eat only when you can enjoy what's on your plate. Don't add any other thought to eating that is not about enjoyment, like "This is fattening." That kills the enjoyment.
- Talk to your friends. After the children have fallen asleep, use this time to chat with your friends and let your hair down. It's very rejuvenating.
- Use self-care products. If it were me, and at one time it was, I would create a basket of self-care items to find personally appealing. If you're a woman, lotions and potions can go into the basket. Special oils for your bath. Special bubble bath soaps. For men, aroma therapy candles, heel and hand therapy lotions, maybe a nice sugar scrub. I found one that smells like margaritas!
Being divorced doesn't have to completely decimate you. You'll eventually heal from issues of self-doubt. Remember: you are the key element in that formula called "My One Sweet Life" so don't leave you out of it. Take care.
About the Author
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares with you the simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce and from the raising of his daughters. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. His is a heartfelt, visionary story of the success at the end of his divorce journey. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
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