Getting on with Life After A Divorce

Divorce and Adultery

The term "life after divorce" can seem like cruel yet laughable fallacy to those actually faced with the prospect. It can be especially frustrating when everyone around you whom you look to for empathy advise you to pull yourself together and get on with your life. Take heart-life really does go on after a divorce and things are going to get better, once you are ready to take control and take advantage of this chance to start anew.

You are the only one who can control your emotions and you reactions to whatever befalls you in life. You can choose to wallow in the past or to go through life in a holding pattern in the hopes that the future will be better. Or you focus on the now, armed with the wisdom garnered from your past and that optimism that belongs to the future, and make the very best of yourself and your life.

Life after divorce involves so much more than remembering to change all of your accounts, or finding a new place to live. Some people make the grave mistake of allowing a divorce to rob them of their identity, if they aren't busy being someone's significant other, then who are they?

A perceived loss of identity will hamper your self-esteem, your personal growth and development, your will to overcome problems in your life. And these are exactly the traits you need most right now. Focus on who you are as an individual and what you want out of your new life.

Some people find counseling or therapy very beneficial in picking up the pieces after a divorce. Whether you choose to seek counseling or not, you'll benefit from the bit of advice most often dispensed by therapist-start fresh with a new hobby, a new group activity, a new talent. Immerse yourself in new experiences and you'll be much less likely to become mired in the past. Take some time rediscover who you are and what you're good at.

Thanks to the internet, the dating scene will never again be the same. Website, forums, chat rooms and dating services have spawned countless happy unions. They allow time to really focus on someone's personality before the physical aspect of a relationship becomes a complicating factor. The more casual atmosphere to be found in online dating is helpful for newly divorced people, since jumping straight into a serious relationship soon after ending one is an invitation for disaster.

You might try a group dedicated solely to divorced parents, where both parents and adults can partake in fun activities with each other or just mingle and hang out. This can help children to cope with their parents' divorce as they meet other children who understand what they're experiencing. Or check out a singles event at a local library, book store, bar, or social hall.

The key to picking up the pieces after the end of a marriage is to remember that one doesn't need to rely on another person to provide your happiness or sense of destiny. One has to create these things for oneself.

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