I Feel Lost After Leaving The Armed Forces
Did you know there are over 9,000 people typing 'I Feel Lost' into google each month?
Whilst my speciality is helping personnel leaving the armed forces and moving into civilian life and civilian work, the information below could help anyone feeling lost and confused.
This article will focus on values. Whilst this is only one facet of our mindset which influences our feelings and behaviour, it is of key importance and so merits its own article. In our training programme we devote whole chapter to understanding and changing values.
In the armed forces, as in many areas of life, personnel often share common personal and deep core values. I'm prepared to bet that if you felt comfortable in the armed forces, that you appreciated the service values and the concept of carrying out your duty.
In an institution like the armed forces, dutiful performance means equitable pay, and is a valued character trait. However, in the civilian workplace many colleagues will find 'duty' an alien concept and will care little for the approval of authority. These are people compete to win.
Whilst neither approach is right or wrong, each originates from very different sets of personal values.
The military has core values which are generally understood and respected by all. In contrast, civilian employers may not have developed company values. If they exist, many staff either don't know them. or care little about them. If you are now the boss then it is your responsibility to develop values for your business and to communicate them to your employees and customers. And you should do this even if you are a one man band.
It is possible you were originally attracted to the armed forces because it was a regime which suited your deep core values.
Are you motivated by 'doing what's right,' duty and honor?
Do you enjoy winning the approval of an authority figure and feel at home with the discipline and purpose which armed forces life can bring?
If you answered yes to the above questions then it is possible you will unwittingly look for that approach in your next employer, and so stifle your options. But what if you are starting your own business? Who will impose this authority which will satisfy your deep core values? Also, what will you be expecting of anyone you employ? Your employees will come with their own values, and a productive team will win because of the different values each member contributes to increase the diversity of the operation.
It can be difficult to warm to someone whose values are poles apart from our own. But in civilian business you must look beyond this initial impression to consider the positive impact a new approach and skills will have in your business success.
My recommendation is that you understand how your values can differ from your civilian colleagues. Many of the high achievers in business will not hold your same concept of duty, and their values lie in personal achievement. However, these are the innovators and achievers who seek opportunities for success and progress through competitive advantage. They seek prestige and continual improvement and spark ideas like a tennis ball launcher. When you get them on your team, then you will motor forwards as well.
The first step I recommend for you is to observe, and then learn to appreciate the different approaches. The second is to dip your toe into the water of your own personal and individual success.
You are worthy. You will make a successful transition.
About the Author
I was looking forward to a new life after leaving the armed forces, and did not expect to feel like a fish out of water. Today I've used my armed forces skills to become director of Stormchasers, which helps other ex armed forces personnel to transition into civilian life. Read my story and get your free report (3 Confidence Building Tactics For Service Leavers) at http://www.leavingthearmedforces.com/freereport
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