Abusive Relationships - When a Loved One Is In An Abusive Relationship
What Can You Do?
If you know someone you love in an abusive relationship, the worry and often guilty feelings can be almost overwhelming. Why did they choose this person? Should I have voiced something earlier? Why didn't I feel what their partner was really like when I initially met them? What should I be doing now?
The endless guesses will destroy you if you don't stop them.
However, the important point to remember is things you can do now to assist them in getting out of the relationship and things you can do in the future to assist them to not get into a relationship like the previous one a second time.
As for things you can do at this point, the biggest point is simply to let the person know that you are present to help them. Make sure not to put pressure on them to make the decision that you want them to. Also, don't nag them to keep in touch with you, to keep current on plans, or other things that they may be unpredictable at doing. They are under unrelenting stress from their violent spouse, not to mention most likely other members of their circle. You certainly need them to think of you as the one person they can consistently turn to, no matter what. that way, they will be much more likely to turn to you for assistance if and when they finally make the difficult determination to leave their violent spouse.
A sad reality is that human beings usually replay destructive patterns in their life. So a scary possibility is that you may again see yourself watching your loved one start a relationship with a dangerous partner.
The hope is, though, you will find yourself better prepared to recognize the danger signs, having been through the situation before. Again the hope is, your friend may be more likely to trust you since you have assisted them the time previous.
The important point to focus on is to value your loved one and let them realize you are there for them.
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