Could Your Relationship Be Spiced Up?

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We suggest that you use this questionnaire to gain greater clarity before answering the basic questionnaire.

A. have you had previous relationships: If yes:

1. Are there specific types of partners that you attract or are attracted to?

2. Is there a certain type of partner towards which you feel aversion?

3. Were you happy in these relationships?

4. In general did you leave the relationship or did the other?

5. What do you believe were the factors that played a role in these relationships not working out?

6. Did you play a role in their not working out? If so what was your contribution?

7. Do you notice any patterns in your relationship situations and interactions? If so which?

8. What lessons might you be able to learn from these previous relationships?

9. Were there also very pleasant and positive moments in those relationships? If so, which?

B. Your parental prototypes:

1. How would you describe the your parental prototypes: a. Your Mother b. Your Father c. The relationship between them – the ways in which they interacted and communicated – or did not. d. Your own relationship with you mother e. Your own relationship with your father.

2. Were there behavioral similarities between any of your previous partners and one or more of your parents. If yes, A. Which were they? B. What might you need to learn by having «chosen – as a soul» to have a number of close persons with similar behaviors? C. What do you want to learn or do in relationship to that?

C. Is there a difference between what society and / or your parents want for you and what you want from a relationship? What do you want to do about that?

D. What is important for you to have in your relationship. (Have in mind that you might be able to have all of these, and maybe not. You might have to choose or sacrifice.) __1. To have a relationship at any cost. To have a partner, children, family? __2. To be in love with someone? __3. To be loved by someone? __4. To be able to share feelings and thoughts with someone? __5. To have a lively and interesting interaction with someone? __6. To be socially accepted because you are married? ___7. To have a relationship so as to be able to have children? ___8. To have a relationship in order to feel worthy to others. ___9. To have a relationship in order to feel safe and secure? ___10.To have a relationship so that there will be someone at home with me – especially in the evenings. Other needs that you hope to have satisfied through a relationship.

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