How to Make Spaghetti - Filipino Style (A Recipe for and About Life)

Copyright (c) 2008 Scott and Maria Baker

I am full-blooded Filipino; born in the Philippines, raised in America. I am about to share with you the recipe for spaghetti the way my mom fixes it. The most extraordinary thing about this recipe is that it has never been written down, there is nothing unique about it, yet all of the other Filipino mothers make it the same way. Every time I sample the spaghetti at Filipino gatherings, it tastes just like mom makes it! You would be surprised to know that their mothers didn't give them this recipe.

Through this amazing coincidence, I have made conclusions regarding the common themes that exist for all immigrants who merge into the American culture. I also determined this recipe symbolizes that all of us, from various backgrounds, are connected. We have an overt tie through our common ethnicities and upbringing (using similar ingredients that appeal to us) but also a covert connection (the need to eat and the universal love for spaghetti).

So get your recipe card out, and bona petit!

**Ingredients: pasta, tomato sauce, ground beef, hot dogs.**

Being human and living in civilization comes with certain common notions that the majority of us set our expectations around. Beyond those common notions are the elements that make each of us unique, and exclusively who we are.

When we came to the U.S. in 1972, I was four years old. I began speaking English shortly after I learned to talk. My parents were encouraged to speak to us kids only in English at that time, so as not to confuse us at school. I have no accent nor any hint that English is actually my second language. In school, I was obedient, responsible, and very shy. Stereotypical Asian. I was painfully aware that I was different than all of the other kids. Did I mention that we immigrated to the Midwest? I didn't want to stand out, so I followed the rules. I spent most of my school years trying to conform so as not to appear different, yet I couldn't help but stand out.

**Break the spaghetti noodles in half or thirds. Boil in water until mushy.**

We all have quirky stuff about us that make us unique. It's something we either celebrate or try to cover up. Until we discover that the quirky stuff is worth sharing, we keep others from enjoying what makes us special.

When I turned 15, I had a religious experience that transformed me from that day forward. I was able to see myself, for the first time, as the perfect person I was created to be. My confidence soared and my friend base grew. I no longer was embarrassed about being different. Instead, I embraced being Filipina, my parents having strong accents, that we ate weird food and white rice with every meal, and that my grandfather lived with us.

**Brown the hamburger, drain it, and mix it with the spaghetti sauce.**

As we understand the foundation of our lives and our family, we begin to get accustomed to making our expectations match those of our parents and people around us we desire to please. We do things out of routine, and view life the way we were taught. We lose sight of ourselves and our ability to make tough decisions when life gets challenging. Our fundamental belief system guides us and sometimes we don't realize that it limits us.

I was raised not only with traditional Filipino customs, but also traditionally Catholic. I went to a Catholic high school, a Catholic college, and married a good Catholic boy I met in college. We were married for 14 years before I could finally admit he wasn't really the one. It took that long for me to break the cycle of guilt as well as address the embarrassment my parents had about Divorce. "Unheard of. Absurd." Having to personally endure a divorce was hard enough, not to mention having to take my children through it. The truth is, I learned the lesson I'm sure Tevye's daughters in Fiddler on the Roof each discovered: that being true to yourself even if it means having to defy the norm and family tradition is the beginning of discovering the life we are deserving of.

**Mix the meat sauce together with the overcooked spaghetti noodles in the same pan you cooked the sauce.**

When we combine tradition with our decisions borne out of our life experiences, we find compelling qualities within us to achieve beyond our set limitations.

The divorce was the most difficult event of my life. During this time, I discovered a secret weapon through the eyes of my beautiful daughters. The responsibility of providing a happy home for them is my purpose. We were the 3 Musketeers before I was introduced to my second husband. The romance was an unexpected whirlwind and our family of 3 became 6 in just 5 short months after our first date. Today, our "new" life is filled with an astounding joy and completeness I never thought was possible the second time around, especially when being accompanied by precious cargo.

**Fry or microwave the hot dogs, slice, and blend with spaghetti mixture.**

This last ingredient is the "piece resistance" (best part). It represents drawing out the most unique and powerful qualities of who we are to create the abundant life we know we desire in our hearts.

Recently, my husband and I were introduced to the most remarkable way of living. It is founded on the idea that our thoughts can evolve into reality and create a life that we once only dreamed about. As we have executed this deliberate way of being, we have seen miraculous changes in our relationship, our children, and our lifestyle. It has become our source of freedom.

Enjoy the recipe. It represents all 4 food groups, but contains more profound health benefits you have to experience to believe!

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