Emotional Affair - Destroying Marriages
Copyright (c) 2012 Paul Ruffilio
Marriages that ended up broken or seriously challenged got that way due to an accumulation of small issues. Problems are no new things to marriages. It however appears to have increased many fold these days especially with technological innovations.
One of the challenges that many marriages today encounter is emotional affair. The sad reality is that many married folks see themselves in it before they realize it. If we do not watch for it so as to nip it in the bud, more damaging affairs would rise from it.
Folks easily fall victim to emotional affairs because of the absence of physical intimacy. Since we have learned that the mind has power over the body and basically dictates what the body does, it should be obvious that since emotional affairs are mind based, with time, it would become physical.
Many cases of couples looking for help with getting over infidelity started this way. It could all begin with a harmless exchange of text messages. The messages gradually become more intimate and before you know it, things are happening.
I recently had discussions with one of my friends who was having sexual issues with her husband. She felt no sexual attraction for him one bit. When I attempted to discover what could have led to this, I asked some questions and she revealed that she discovered her husband's secret habit of seeing porn movies and looking at porn pictures. After discovering this, her spouse didn't look like someone who should get anything from her anymore.
Though the example above didn't say the man had a physical affair with another person, his wife still felt cheated on. Your problems may not be pornography. The issue for you could be an unhealthy level of intimacy with a colleague of the opposite sex. You need to be aware that this is how emotional affairs start. You also need to know that many end in physical affairs.
What's the way out? Place proper limits and don't let anyone disregard them in spite of what they say. If you sincerely want your marriage to succeed and you care about your family, your friends and co-workers can't be the ones to dictate how you behave.
Be it by phone, text or talk, any co-worker of yours who does not mind becoming intimate with you in spite of the fact that they know you are married, either assumes you don't care about your spouse and family or doesn't respect your spouse or your marriage enough to stay away.
What then gives you the impression that this individual who has no respect for your marriage has any regard for you? This is food for thought. Should this seemingly harmless affair lead to the breakup of your marriage with all the attendant trouble, would it all have been worth it?
The claim that you are simply friends should stop. If it hurts your partner then stop it. You should take some time to seriously consider these seemingly little things. It starts silently and then turns into a monster.
You owe it to yourself and to your family to guard against emotional affairs.
About the Author
It is true that emotional affairs can be really harmful. See http://www.marriagesherpa.com/blog/tag/emotional-affair/ However, with proper help, you can stop it and not have to be bothered about getting over infidelity http://www.marriagesherpa.com/blog/uncategorized/negative_thought_recovery/.
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