Good Manners are Important - Teach them to your kids

Good Manners, it's never too early to learn..

Kids need to learn how to stand up for themselves, but must also learn to consider and respect the needs and rights of other people as well - in other words, they need to learn good manners. It is possible to teach children good manners without subjecting them to the repression of previous decades - who can remember being told "don't speak until you're spoken to"?" Start your toddler on the journey to good manners now with the following tips:

Lay the foundations

Good manners aren't just about being aware of when to say "please" and "thank you" and which cutlery to use with each course. The underlying principle of good manners is thinking about others. In other words, saying "please" and "thank you" should mean that you care, not that you've simply been taught to use these words. So, to raise a well-mannered child you need to teach the "why" of etiquette along with the "how". What you're actually trying to install is teach manners that come from inside - you're endeavouring to raise a caring, respectful child. Set a good example

The most effective method of teaching your child good manners is to demonstrate them yourself. So don't forget to say "please" and "thank you" when it's necessary, "excuse me" when you knock into another person, chew with your mouth closed and request the salt to be passed to you rather than reaching across someone to grab it. But most importantly, don't forget to extend your good manners to your toddler. Say "please" when you request him to do something, and "thank you" when he does something for you. Apologise if you accidentally knock over his brick tower and he'll be learning consideration, respect and care for other people's feelings.

Speak for your toddler

At first your child won't understand that good manners include saying "thank you for having me" at the end of a play date - so it's up to you to say it for them. They'll hear you using the correct responses in social situations and your example will teach your child much more about courtesy than any amount of prodding or nagging. If you're always saying "Now, what do you say?" to your toddler they'll find this irritating and maybe humiliating and may become even more unlikely to make the right response. It doesn't hurt to remind them sometimes, but it's best to wait for a private moment.

Don't pressurise your child

Nagging about using good manners, or punishing your child for not saying "please" and "thank you" will ensure they learn the polite responses, but won't develop a positive feeling about good manners. This means that your child will be unlikely to behave politely when you're not by their side to enforce the rules.

Be consistent

Pressurising your child isn't appropriate, but reminding about good manners is. When you're alone together and your toddler forgets to say please, ask "What's the magic word?" If you get the correct reply, that's good. If not, fill in the blank space for your child. At least you'll have shown them that you believe good manners are important.

Listen to your toddler

Children who are listened to make better listeners themselves. Being a good listener is an important part of being a polite and considerate individual.

Above all, have realistic expectations. From remembering to say "thank you" to being happy to share a favourite toy, it will take many years of teaching and reminding before your child displays good manners automatically. But do persevere, and some day you'll be very pleased when someone remarks, "My, your child has such good manners!"

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