Full Ownership Means Complete Freedom

The topic of ownership seems to be a hot topic in recent coaching and other conversations. Specifically, what you own or are responsible for and what you are not.

In this area, I find very little middle ground. There are those of you who choose to own everything means that you feel responsible for what happens around you in most directions. And then there are those of you who feel no sense of ownership, irrespective of what those around you desire. Both sides are equally frustrating to the other.

Here's what taking on too much ownership looks like:

As a Leader: You solve everyone's problems rather than encouraging them to come up with their own unique solutions. You might think this is easier for you, but in the long run, it does not foster unfoldment or imagination in your team.

As a Service Provider or Sales Executive: You assume what your customer wants, wearing yourself out to please or take care of their every need. Simple questions could prevent hours of unnecessary labor and annoyance.

As a Parent: Your children's challenges become yours. As with the Leader, you take on the responsibility rather than teaching your children the value of finding their own resolutions to normal childhood predicaments. What does this teach your kids about responsibility? What type of adults are you forming?

As a Spouse, Partner or Friend: You take on ownership practically before a problem occurs. Anyone comes to you with a dilemma, and you immediately leap forward with the perfect solution. That approach demeans the other person? Craft an alternate approach and nudge or cajole those very close to you to contribute their ideas? You and your mate would have a more secure relationship and you'd be enabling them to unfold self-reliance.

Each one of these incidents shows a different type of objection and each one shows you how the end result can be stimied. The opposite is equally debilitating.

When you take too little ownership:

As a leader: Few individuals who avoid ownership become leaders, yet some slip through. Your focus is on the problem rather than the solution. You doubt yourself, so ask for others opinions to the point of exhaustion.

As a Service Provider or Sales Executive: Again, it's always someone else's fault, or the market, weather, etc. This is no way to learn. Others are succeeding where you may be failing. See if you can discover what they do better than you do, and ask your patron or purchaser what they would liked to have seen you improve on. Be realistic where you were not in your best mode and find a way to improve. This is your constant goal.

As a Parent: Sadly enough, you may believe that any dilemmas that arise are your children's fault and that it has nothing to do with you. Your lessons for them will then fall flat. Take a look in the mirror as your children are more often than not emulating their parents. Where are you sabotaging their development? The answer is probably the same way you sabotage your own development.

As a Spouse, Partner or Friend: You are not dependable, most likely the type of partner that cancels plans at the last minute, doesn't commit, or is wishy-washy. Since those who don't easily take ownership for their actions find solace in being surrounded by similar beings you may not even notice the lack of depth or dependability in your relationships.

The key to ownership is be conscious and not in autopilot. There are times you might consciously choose to be responsible, and there are times when it's best to share or delegate the responsibility. You may take on more responsibility in certain areas than in others.

Just because you are a responsible person doesn't mean that you take on the ultimate responsibility in all aspects of life. This is exhausting, and prevents those around you from growing. I feel confident you can now see that zero ownership would not serve you well at all. Enjoy your discoveries and make wise ownership choices this week.

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