Adoption: Some Honest Reflections
Adoption: Being Honest About My Concerns
We have attempted to get pregnant for the past 3 years of our marriage. Actually, we got pregnant about 9 months ago, but my wife miscarried. At least we know that we're not infertile. We are now just trying and praying. In this process, we've contemplated adoption. As we've contemplated adopting a child, I've worried about three main issues: money, love, and process. In the following paragraphs I'll go into these concerns in greater detail. Keep in mind that these are just my first impressions on adoption as a prospective parent. I've not yet conducted thorough research.
Money is tight. We are continuing to get ourselves out of debt due to very negative spending problems during the first year of our marriage. Consequently, I was desiring to wait to have children, but my wife reminded me that having a child while tight financially is better than not having a child while having a little extra spending money. Children always win over money. (At least they should.) We're willing to make the sacrifice. Although this attitude is just fine when bearing your own children, I'm guessing that an adoption agency has tighter financial requirements for those they accept. There's also the adopting fees. At this point, I don't believe we can afford adoption.
When the topic of adoption originally came up, I didn't give it much consideration. My mind has always been firm on having my own children from my own seed. I've always fancied that much of the love I'd have for my child would be the knowledge that he is from me. (Yes, I'm planning for a boy.) As I've contemplated it more, however, I sincerely trust I will love an adopted child just the same. Love is more of an expression of the heart than a mystical feeling of oneness. Plus the thought that I "rescued" this child would provide some magical feelings in the process. Maybe I'd even think of myself as this child's hero!
A final issue I've considered when thinking through adoption is a fear of the long process. I regularly hear negative stories of the time and money required to adopt a child. An acquaintance even experienced a situation where there surfaced a possibility that the birth mother had the option to take the child back six or so months later. I'd want to be sure of the outcome before starting the process. Then I hear occasions of adoptive parents going to foreign countries to pick up a child with the only expense of a plane ticket. Is it really that simple?
The truth is that I haven't researched adoption enough to understand the facts about the above money, love, and process concerns. I have figured out I will love whatever child with whom God chooses to bless us. This article is only the first step in my desire to understand the issues. I have even put together a website where I hope to receive the written experiences of others weighing adoption or adoptive parents. You are invited to send an article as well. You don't have to be an expert -- I know I'm not! There isn't even a need to be a great writer. Your knowledge on the topic matters much more.
About the Author
If you want to read more adoption articles, Matt Garimentis invites you to his site. Publishers, visit web content for a unique version of this content.
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