Experimenting with Different Positions

Many people believe that if only they can find the right position, they will achieve a new level of pleasure. So what happens? Sex turns out to be a test for cramping muscles, a stop-start event, or acrobatics. All this just to try out everything in the manual! Any pleasure is usually by accident because the position becomes the main focus and not the pleasure. But as everyone knows, doing one position over and over becomes boring after a while and makes you wonder if it is still worth it at all. Experimenting with different positions allows you to get to know one another better, and enhance each other’s enjoyment. But only so long as the focus is on increasing your pleasure, and not on trying everything in the manual, or trying new positions just for the sake of it. There are any number of positions but generally they are variations of three or four basic ones, namely: standing, kneeling, lying down, and sitting. So how do you find the best one? There aren’t any hard and fast rules. Generally though, if things are getting boring in one position, it’s time to experiment and change positions. Slowly and gradually start moving your body and your partner will follow. Don’t make jerky sudden movements, but stay aware of your partner and flow together. Watch how your partner responds. If they obviously don’t like the new position, keep flowing into another one. If the new position throws either of you off, then go back.Communication about sex is essential. It is sometimes difficult to get started, but once you get going it gets easier and as you both open up, you each other’s likes and dislikes. Looking at sex positions in manuals and online is a great way to get started. You can both point to what you want to try, and get a sense of your partner’s likes and dislikes right away. Then you will both have ideas of 4 or 5 new positions to try out. Positions change the angle of entry during intercourse, which both of you will respond to differently. Positions change who is in control, which is part of a larger dynamic in the relationship. Who is ‘in control’ is also who is responsible. Giving up control allows you to lie back and let someone else do the work, and of course take the responsibility. Exchanging roles is healthy and essential for the relationship. Changing positions and exploring new positions is part of exploring sexuality and exploring each other and brings you closer together.

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