Marriage Therapy - Emotional Affairs
Copyright (c) 2012 Paul Ruffilio
One of the problems of marriages in our day is facing issues that threaten to tear it apart. We have a couple of really obvious things which we all are aware can breakup a marriage. First on this list is infidelity. Infidelity however begins somewhere and this is where I think we ought to concentrate more.
Infidelity is not ever a sudden thing. It's normally a gradual process that eventually culminates in an affair. It is then necessary to find out how this occurs. When we find out the root cause, we can address the problem from the root.
One thing that I've found to be really destructive is emotional affairs. Emotional affairs are seemingly harmless and innocent. This thinking is fueled by the fact that there's no physical intimacy involved. Having this type of affair with someone else when you are married is simply setting up yourself for a fall because in most instances, this always leads to an affair. If you let it continue and then result in an affair, folks around might see it as a surprising occurrence.
Start paying careful attention to your relationship with that colleague at work of the opposite gender with whom you generally find yourself spending your time. Yes, you are simply talking or texting but what's the content of your messages? Just to be sure, I would ask you a simple question. Would you be happy if your partner suddenly comes in on your talk with this individual or stumbles on the text messages you exchange? Just in case you won't have those conversations if your partner was there or if you would delete the messages so your partner does not read them, you need to be aware that you are likely guilty.
If you give it some thought, you would agree that extramarital affairs mostly starts with someone paying a lot of attention to another. The person feels intimate or appreciated by someone other than their partner. This is emotional affairs and is normally the start. A greater understanding of the dangers of emotional affairs would lead to more people avoiding it and this would subsequently result in a major reduction in instances of extramarital affairs.
One advice I would also offer is that you should try to fix your marital challenges internally. Because of your determination to take care of your marriage yourself, you would probably not be discussing your marriage issues with just anyone.
It's very critical that you take note of the process you go through as you try to repair your marriage. Some people have actually fallen victim of emotional affair and then on to extramarital affairs because they were trying to fix their marriage.
It has occurred that folks speak to colleagues about their marriage problems and as these colleagues express their concern, they begin to get close. You can find yourself involved in emotional affair before you are aware of it. There is a need for you to be seriously on the lookout so as not to fall prey.
When there is a need to talk to someone, your best option is consulting a certified marriage counselor. A marriage counselor is trained to take care of these things and you can be certain that you're getting the help you need.
Do not get into the trap of emotional affairs under any guise. I'm certain you understand the harm that can come from emotional affairs.
About the Author
The process from emotional affairs (http://www.marriagesherpa.com/blog/forgiveness/emotional_affair/ ) to extramarital affairs is always very gradual. Don't be a victim. Go to http://www.marriagesherpa.com/blog/marriage/mind_control_thoughts/.
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