Can Working Mums Truly Have Everything?

The saying "we've come a long way, baby" is still questionable for working mums. Society still makes comments on motherhood today and a mum's decision to make a career for herself. The debate focuses on women and feminism, with specific focus on the impacts our dual job as mother and professional might hold.

There's no doubt that we, as women, have come a long way. With the Betty Friedans and Germaine Greers of second wave feminism leading the way, women in the 1960s and 1970s challenged a multitude of de facto inequalities around issues of sexuality, family, the workplace, and reproductive rights, and emerged for the most part victorious and more confident than ever that women could "have it all." For the first time, women had choices, and as doors opened, women could make decisions about childbearing, careers, and education—"it all."

Second wavers fought a hard battle and forty years later, we owe much to their struggles. This is the reason why the sharp comments of popular British actress Emma Thompson in the US edition of Good Housekeeping created a debate. Ms. Thompson pooh-poohed the idea that women can and should have it all, calling it a "revolting concept". Going on to dismiss the idea as a "false" and unattainable ideal, one might initially take Thompson's comments as a fresh reminder that women today needn't feel the urge to compete with Superwoman, and indeed, some fans applauded her as an "eminently sensible" role model, and were grateful "to hear a celebrity admit to not being perfect, to making sacrifices and being normal."

The downside to Ms. Thompson's logic, however, is the fact that picking up Academy Awards and multi-million movie deals isn't exactly the sort of scenario most working mums envision as part of their daily routines. It's not to say that Thompson isn't a busy working mother herself. With a ten year old daughter and an unofficially adopted Rwandan refugee son in addition to a history of film and screenwriting success, it's obvious Thompson has worked hard to get where she is. But when Thompson rails against hiring outside help as though it were some form of maternal fraud, she neglects to consider the circumstances of the rest of us working mums who don't have Oscars lining the mantle. Thompson claimed, "The only way you can have it all is by delegating all the running of the home to other people—which I don't ever want to do ... So you do it yourself, and it takes time and energy and effort. When you give it this time, it's fulfilling."

Apparently, the selfless decision to stay at home with the kids and avoid putting them at risk of the evil hired help is one all working mothers can easily afford to make; never mind fears of layoffs, the rising cost of living, global recession, and the mortgage payments to meet. In a scathing riposte, Telegraph columnist, Judith Woods, found it "hard to credit [Thompson's] remarks with any intelligence," noting that, "No one ever refers to nurses or teachers or clerical workers as having it all - they are 'struggling to make ends meet'... The fact is, Emma Thompson, you do have everything."

The truth is that Thompson's life is one far removed from the realities of most women's. The women I am acquainted with recognise the pressure and complexity that are ineherent in handling work and home life, yet they are still wistful about the idea of having it all and having the means to achieve it. The core of the issue is the manner we define the meaning of "having it all". Identifying "it" and who is able to describe it? If you're struggling with the idea of "having it all", why not try Professional Coaching and let a Professional Working Mums' Coach support you while you pursue your goals and dreams?

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