The Secrets of Living with an Alcoholic and Surviving

Living with an alcoholic person can be extremely challenging, be it your spouse, friend or other family member. Alcohol usually alters the way a person reacts to any emotion and action. Handling an alcoholic person can be very difficult because they become stubborn and volatile when drunk. Many couples separate each year because of alcoholism.

Alcoholism is a major problem in many households. Not only does it create a bunch of problems, it also destroys the family institution in one way or another. Every year, a lot of people visit and enrol themselves in rehabilitation centers in an attempt to break the habit, however, alcoholism is still rampant in our society.

So, how do you live with an alcoholic, and is it possible to still live a happy life together? It's not easy, but it is possible. Here are some tips:

Alcoholism is a problem, but it's not yours

No-one would disagree that Alcoholism is a major problem in society. The issue is that most people who stay with an alcoholic person tend to make it their own problem, however, they need to realize that alcoholism is not their direct problem, rather it's the problem of the alcoholic himself. Yes, it obviously impacts greatly on those who are close, however, the alcoholic himself is responsible for his own behavior. No-one else.

Disengagement

Try as much as you can to control your emotions. You need to maintain your composure and calm, as difficult as this may be. Try to treat the alcoholic in the same way would have when they are sober. Try to refrain from nagging them, as this just makes matters worse.

Disablement

Do you realize that spouses or partners often encourage their counterparts to become alcoholics in the early days? They often go to the bar with them, buy drinks for them and even call for a sick day off work whenever their partner has a serious hangover. If you are living with an alcohol addict, you should stop doing these things for them. You need to stop picking up the pieces. You shouldn't pick them up when they call you in the middle of the night in a drunken state. You shouldn't clean up their vomit. Doing these things only tells them that it's ok to treat you like dirt.

Never Say Yes to Self-Pity

It's easy to start feeling sorry for yourself if you are living with an alcoholic, however, self-pity is only going to make matters worse. As much as you can, you need to carry on with your own life. Your best approach is to make sure you go to work everyday, go out with your friends, and generally maintain as normal a life as possible. Although this may be difficult to do, you need to look after yourself and not allow the behavior of the alcoholic to destroy your life as well as theirs.

Show Love to Him

Irrevocable and unconditional love may really assist your loved one to kick the habit, however, keep in mind that there is no guarantee, as the decision has to be totally their choice, and it doesn't matter how much you love them, if they can't or won't make the decision to become sober, nothing you do will change the situation. All you can do is show them that you are the same loving partner you used to be before they became an alcoholic and leave the rest up to them.

Know When to Go

This is one of the biggest challenges anyone who is living with an alcoholic can face, especially when children are involved, as no-one really wants to break up a family, yet sometimes this is the only option left, depending on the situation. Before making this decision, you should seek counselling, as you need to be sure of yourself and your decision, and to be strong and have the resources to see it through.

Comments? Questions? Email Here

© HowtoAdvice.com

How to Advice .com