Taking Stock Without Judgment

Copyright (c) 2006 Pat Brill

As the New Year approaches, it is a perfect time to reflect on the events, accomplishments, and disappointments of the past year. Taking stock of the past twelve months helps you to see what worked and what could be improved upon.

If you set resolutions at the beginning of the year, get out your list and start there. If not, take a few minutes to write down some of the changes you had hoped to make this past year; goals that may have been on your mind, but did not make it to a list, diary or calendar.

First, focus on the accomplishments of the year. If you were able to attain some of last year's goals, circle, star, or highlight them. A list of last year's goals is a good place to start, but it by no means encompasses all of the good news and good times of the year.

When taking stock of the positive changes and experiences of the year, go beyond goal setting and write down what worked well in the day-to-day events of life. The big wins and the little wins.

Did you clean out your closets for charity? Were you able to attend all of your son's soccer games? Were you promoted, given a raise, or rewarded at work? Did you start a small business, take up golfing, or reconnect with an old friend? Jot it all down now.

Second, take a look at the resolutions and goals left on your list, the ones that you were not able to complete this year. Again, this list is just a starting point. Make note of the little changes and the big changes you had hoped to see happen, but for whatever reason, they did not work out.

Did you want to carve out more time with your children or partner? Were you hoping to take up a new hobby or learn a new skill? Did you intend to take a solo vacation in order to recharge? Perhaps you just wanted to get your holiday cards out on time! Write down everything you can think of.

At this point, taking a break from taking stock is absolutely necessary. Set aside your lists and notes and take a walk, go to a movie, chat with a friend. Taking your mind off of the ups and downs allows your brain to organize the information. When you come back to it, you will approach the next steps with new insight, perspective, and compassion.

Accomplishing goals is not easy. Human beings are creatures of habit, and making lasting change is difficult for everyone. As you go through this final step, ask your inner critic to step aside. By now you can see you did accomplish quite a lot this year; more than you realized or gave yourself credit for. Knowing this will help you to remove judgment and guilt, and start the new year fresh.

The third and final step in taking stock is to look at both the sides of your list and identify how you were able to carry out some changes, and what prevented you from pulling off others. It could be as simple as having childcare (or not), too many other obligations, lack of funds, or poor planning.

Did you notice any patterns? For example, if childcare was an issue in the first six months of the year, it may have affected your ability to take a class, or a vacation, or make home improvements. Working this issue out may have allowed you to make more changes in later on in the year.

Other patterns will be revealed in this process. A good deal of your successful endeavors may have been possible because you involved your entire family. Now you know a strategy that works for you, and you can employ it for future plans.

As you examine the uncompleted goals, remember to look for the win within. Though you may not have been able to sit down with your family for dinner every night, maybe you did manage to do so three times a week. Noticing the "halfway" or partial wins also helps you to remove judgment and celebrate your efforts.

Taking stock is about gaining awareness. You do not necessarily need to create a plan at this point. Just knowing what worked and what didn't will empower you in the coming year.

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