Sex Talks: Your Kid is Watching Sex on TV
Copyright (c) 2010 Birds + Bees + Kids
Every couple of years the Kaiser Family Foundation does a review of the sexual content on TV shows. They look at all television programming, everything from PBS Kids to HBO. What they discovered may surprise you - it did me!
70% of television programs have some sexual content. This includes everything from flirting and suggestion to full on sexual activity, including intercourse. Safer sex is rarely mentioned so if you were hoping your kids might be learning a bit about safe sex along with their dose of sex on TV, you're out of luck.
If you are thinking the shows your kids are watching are just fine and virtually sex free, think again. TV shows like "The Suite Life with Zack and Cody" are full of flirting and sexual banter. One of the boys who is 10 or so at the time, actually hits on a 15 or 16 year old girl in one episode. What do you think about your 10 year old watching this and what they might be learning about relationships and girls? Young girls love to watch "Hannah Montana" and "High School Musical". The story lines are engaging and interesting; the music and dancing is fun and exciting. It seems silly to me to need to point this out, but these shows are about High School and teen life. Why does your 7 year old need to watch this?
What are 7 year olds learning when they are watching high school girls move through their high school girl world? They are being exposed to sexual situations and ideas that would not even show up on their radar until they were in their late tweens if not for these types of shows.
The end result of all this sexual content is that our kids are becoming sexualized at a very young age. They think, act and feel in a sexual way that is beyond developmental appropriateness.
There may be some real good that could come from turning off the TV. A study came out a couple of months ago that shows a direct link between watching TV with sexual content and teen pregnancy.
Teens who watched shows where sex was regularly shown or discussed had two to three times the risk of pregnancy than young people exposed to lower levels of sexual content, the study says. I suspect they are desensitized to sex and because people on TV don't usually discuss birth control or STDs before they do it, these kids don't either.
Are you thinking "not MY kid"? I bet the parents of the kids in the study thought the same thing. Nobody wants to think their kids will make stupid choices - but they do and they will.
It's our job to help them make better choices and I think there is plenty to be gained from monitoring the shows our kids are watching and discussing the content with our children. If you aren't going to turn the TV off, the least you can do is talk about what they are seeing and provide some real-life guidance to your children. Letting them think real sex is like sex on TV is unfair and unsafe.
And if you are worried about your child's "innocence" when it comes to talking to them about sex, having conversations about sex that are values based and informative does not "ruin" your child's innocence. Leaving them to watch TV and learn about sex, love and relationships through the media does.
About the Author
Through her business, Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy Lang, MA teaches parents how to talk to their children of any age about the birds and the bees. She is the author of Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A guide to sharing your beliefs about sexuality, love, and relationships. To learn more tips and tricks for talking to your kids and to sign up for her newsletter, visit her website http://birdsandbeesandkids.com
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