How To Control Your Infant's Defiant Behavior

A toddler does not possess the awareness of other people that we adults possess. They have a very egocentric view of their universe and this usually results in them ordering other people around, not being generous with their toys and getting in a temper tantrum if the same happens to them!

It is not unusual for even the most well behaved 3 year old to exhibit bossy behaviorand this can leave some parents perturbed and frustrated.

Bossiness in a small child can also be put down to the sense of influence that it can give them in a world where parents have all the control. They won't always recognize that they are doing it, but when they are being bossy and excerting their power and authority over others they are in their own way taking that control back. This doesn't mean that we as parents aren't going to be able to bring this under control however.

Tips For Bringing Your Childs Bossy Behavior Under Control

Imitation

First and foremost, children learn by example. If they see you, or any other people that they are with a lot of the time, exhibiting a bossy behavior then they will often try to emulate it. So if you are always bellowing at your little ones to get them to do something, or if they see you bossing other folks around rather than asking people to do things in a more friendly and gracious manner then they will notice this and copy it.

Regardless if you recognize your own bossiness or not, you need to approach the way you act objectively when you are around your children and don't take it personally if you see something you don't like about yourself.

Social Skills

Teaching children to share from a very early age is a social skill that they will remember and which can deliver benefits throughout their life time. Make them ask people things in a considerate manner and when they depart from this, ask them what they would feel like if someone behaved like that to them.

Give Control

Bossy children are essentially trying to gain control in scenarios where they think that they don't have any. By asking your child whether they want spuds or peas with their fish fingers, or whether they want to see some cartoons or play with their barbie dolls for a while you are placing some authority back in their hands.

Make certain you don't leave the questions open ended though. Make sure you limit the possible outcomes to just two. This or that.. This provides them with a feeling of control and they will feel like they have had a say in how their day went and THIS will result in less of a desire to take control from other people by way of bossy behavior in the future.

Attention

Consider how much time and attention your child is receiving from you due to the fact that their poor habits could just be an appeal for more (or just some!). A child knows everything they know from their parents in the early years, so seriously think hard about whether you are spending sufficient time with them before telling them off for yanking at your wrist to go and play whilst you are just there chit chatting with friends.

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