Preventing Bachelorette Party Disasters; Part 2: Avoid Alcohol-Related Bad Behavior Problems

In Part 1 of this series, we addressed the very serious problems that can arise from drinking to excess at a bachelorette party. The intention was not to throw a wet blanket on the party, but to offer a few ways to help prevent "drunk and having fun" from becoming "comatose and hospital-bound."

But alcohol poisoning is not the only problem created by drinking heavily at a bachelorette party. Far more common are the situations that arise when a group of people have soaked away all their social inhibitions and filters. Let's take a look at some of those situations and think about ways to avoid them.

People don't usually fall off the cliff all at once. They climb their way down, getting uglier and meaner as they go. Here are the stages of bad behavior, starting with the worst.

Stage 3 Bad Behavior: When a bachelorette has consumed way too much alcohol and is no longer in control of her actions, almost anything can happen. For example, she may act out physically - slapping, scratching, punching or kicking someone over a perceived insult. If you are in a public place, this will probably get her ejected. If the victim is injured or litigious, it could get the bachelorette arrested.

Stage 2 Bad Behavior: A drunk bachelorette may stop short of physical abuse, yet still make herself a pain by screaming and flailing around, shouting profanity, and acting out of control. While not inherently dangerous, this behavior makes everyone nervous that it will escalate to something even worse. Ejection from a public place becomes more likely the longer the bachelorette carries on.

Stage 1 Bad Behavior: Before she gets to the "Miss, you're making a scene" stage, a bachelorette may prove her drunkenness by over-sharing (revealing intimate details about herself and others), insulting strangers or other members of the bachelorette party, weeping uncontrollably, or admitting deep-seated resentments about the bride that cause bad feelings and next-day problems. Bouncers won't care much about Stage 1 bachelorettes but the wedding party won't appreciate this behavior.

What can you do to minimize these types of alcohol-related problems? The suggestions discussed in Part 1 would come in handy here too: inviting a sensible person to the party who doesn't get too drunk, and using the buddy system to watch out for one another.

It doesn't matter who, but someone needs to step in at Stage 1 and let the drunk bachelorette know that she is crossing lines and causing concern. Ask if she is feeling OK, and suggest strongly that she consider drinking only non-alcoholic beverages from then on. Let her see that, even if she isn't completely out of control yet, a drink or two more could put her there. Try to focus only on the alcohol aspect of the situation. Don't get into a discussion about whether the bride really is a terrible person.

If you miss or ignore the signs of Stage 1, and fail to take action then, an escalation to Stage 2 and maybe 3 would not be shocking. Now a buddy or the Sensible One needs to move quickly to keep the problem from getting even worse. First, remove the drunk bachelorette from the scene immediately. You might be able to save the party and let everyone else enjoy themselves if you can isolate her fast enough.

Get her to a quiet spot away from people and try to calm her down. Do not allow her to return to the party unless she exhibits an amazing turnaround of controlled behavior. Inform her that her drinking is over for the night. If she objects to any of this, remember that the real guest of honor at the party is the bride. If her night is ruined by a drunk bachelorette, then everyone present will have failed.

It might be necessary to send the drunk bachelorette home if she cannot control herself. Can she go alone, perhaps in a cab, or must someone accompany her? Before you decide this, determine whether she has drunk enough to possibly cause alcohol poisoning. She may not show the symptoms now, but if she has consumed multiple drinks in the past hour, she will be getting drunker and drunker, even if she stops drinking now.

At this point you are realizing that you should have done something at Stage 1, even if that would have been uncomfortable or awkward. Once bad behavior turns really ugly, your options become increasingly limited. Don't pretend that it's every person for herself at a bachelorette party. It is a painful reality that some people just are not very good at taking care of themselves.

Part 3: Preventing Non-Alcohol-Related Bachelorette Party Disasters

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