Ways To Approach Kids Discipline Issue

It is fascinating to read the various approaches to kids' discipline. We read about those that stress obedience where the parents are authority figures. Then there is the very relaxed approach where the parents try to be the kids' friend. The answer is somewhere in between because we need to set limits but at the same time allow for some flexibility and not impose impossible consequences.

As regards how we react to kids' bad behavior we have a variety of options on how to deal with kids' discipline solutions. We can withdraw privileges or we resort to a good old lecture. Many parents cannot be bothered with all that and react simply by yelling, forgetting that once they do that, all lines of communication are closed as nobody can ever start to reason or reflect on behavior while that is going on.

There are extreme cases of reacting to the bad behavior where violence is used on the part of the parent. I know one parent who is so afraid of her aggressive teens that she has bought a stun gun and regularly delivers 500,000 volts when things get out of hand and her teens fall to the ground stunned. Then there was the case of a parent who made her daughter run round the block for three hours because she had eaten some candy bars which was forbidden. The girl died because she had a seizure brought on by dehydration. The mother was duly charged with homicide.

These are extreme examples but violence is still used as a last resort by many parents and this should not be happening at all as it teaches that violence is an acceptable reaction to get what you want. That is a terrible example for a child to have.

At the other extreme, are the parents who have simply checked out and seem to have lost all interest in parenting. Look at what goes on in any shopping mall and see how kids are running the show and often controlling their parents. As someone wisely remarked, the parents draw a line in the sand, the child ignores it. Then the parents draw a new line and the downward spiral has begun as the limits are simply bypassed and the goal posts are being constantly moved.

If parents fail in the task of drawing the line between right and wrong, then selfishness, disrespect and under achievement will rule. What about showing respect for the environment, for others, emphasising the difference between right and wrong? These are the real and urgent kids' discipline issues. If these are simply neglected and there are no limits at all, then chaos will role and kids will take control. What we need is a loving and supportive environment with clear boundaries and limits which are respected.

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