Managers: How to Get the Appreciation You Deserve

With the challenging business climate today, managers are feeling the pinch of the lack of appreciation. Years ago, my then-manager told me not to expect any 'thanks' for the job. He said it just went with the territory. He thought his job was to motivate agents. And, it is. But, as I went into management, I discovered that managers, too, need a little love. Well, at least, a little appreciation! So, my question to you is, how are you getting it? How are you 'pumping yourself back up' when you get down?

We All Need Someone to Show Us a Brighter Future

Have you ever gotten poison oak? In Oregon's Willamette Valley, where I grew up, poison ivy seemed to be waiting in the woods ready to attack me each time I ventured out of my yard. Getting poison ivy meant itchy skin, at the least, and, at its worst, it meant a face swollen to the point where my eyes were just slits. That will get you down. In fact, I'd look in the mirror and wonder if I'd ever look like me again.

During one particularly horrible bout with my enemy, poison oak, (you can tell I really hated this stuff), I remember riding in the car with my mother to pick up my sister at school. (I couldn't go to school myself, but I was probably driving my mom so crazy she let me ride along). I forgot I had this grotesquely swollen face for a moment, and I waved at a friend. I got a stare back. Turning to my mom, I asked, "Will I ever get over this?" Of course, as good moms do, she replied, "Of course, sweetie. It's just temporary. You'll look like your cheery little self real soon again." And, of course, after a couple of weeks, I did resemble me.

What gets us managers down. We have many varieties of poison oak waiting to attack us as we venture into the 'woods of management' each day. An salesperson leaves us, or, we get a call from an unhappy client, who demands we do something about _______________ (you fill in the blank). I'll bet you can think of 25 others! Sometimes you wish your mom could just sit with you in your office each day and say, over and over, "It's okay, honey. They don't dislike you, they just have a problem." Sounds far fetched, but, the real question is, "Who gets you up when you're down?"

Where to Look for that Appreciation

Recently, I was teaching a managers' workshop. I asked the managers where they got positive 'strokes'--you know, the stuff that keeps us going when we're wading deep in that poison oak. Several managers said, "We don't get them. But, again, we don't need them." Yeah, right. Every psychological study I've ever read proves the human's need to feel needed, to be recognized and treasured as an individual. That's positive strokes, folks. I think what those managers were saying is that, they had given up on getting strokes from the outside.

There are two places to go to get 'pumped up'. Outside, from associates, friends, and family, and inside, in your own head. From my observations, it's much more difficult to appreciate yourselves than to have others appreciate us. It's harder to pump ourselves up than to listen to someone else pump us up.Going outside to get pumped up. So, if it's a need for all of us, where can a manager go on the outside to get pumped up when he's down? Some managers have owners are great at it. However, the owner only knows what his manager is doing if he sets short-term goals with the manager, and helps the manager work toward those goals. I think the best kind of supervision. How about trainers and recruiters? How about salespeople in the office? If recognition drives most of us to do better, then, why don't we all work harder at recognizing each others' efforts--and helping each other out of the tough spots?

How to Encourage Appreciation

I worked for an owner who was renowned for never giving appreciation. So, I started sending him notes of appreciation. I had my salespeople do the same. Voila! We found, almost magically, that we were getting appreciation right back.

That taught me two things:

Some people grew up in an environment that was short on appreciation; you have to teach them

Some people seem embarrassed or unable to be effusive in their appreciation

The best way for managers to get appreciation is to give it. For a list of 25 ways to appreciate, plus dozens of tips on motivation, click here.

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