Approaching Women: Making It Happen…The RIGHT Way, For A Change

Copyright 2006 X & Y Communications

Last time we talked about how most men have a much tougher time approaching women than most women think they do. With that discussion covered, let’s talk about some ways to make some positive introductions happen. Sound good? Thought so.

So what to do? How can men have an easier time approaching women? And ladies, what can you do to make the experience of men approaching you more enjoyable?

Guys:

1) First and foremost, reframe your mind. Approaching a woman should not be seen as a potential competition or power struggle. Instead of pressuring yourself with the need to earn her approval lest you face “rejection”, open each conversation with a genuine interest in finding out whether she is even the type of woman you could get along with. Without a preconceived notion of “wanting her”, the conversation is much more of an evenly matched process. Get it?

2) Realize you do not need any fancy “pickup lines”, and that the best opener is usually a simple “hello”. Proceeding in this manner takes a lot of the pressure of “not messing up” off the table.

3) Imagine that you are talking to someone whom you have already known for years. If you are able to speak this naturally to a woman, you will immediately feel more comfortable with the interaction…and so will she. That can only lead to good results.

4) Realize that women are typically flattered by attention. …But only if you are tasteful and respectful. Follow the previous ideas in this section, and you will be right on track.

5) Know that if she is rude to you, you’ve saved yourself a lot of trouble. Provided that you have made respect a priority, any woman who performs in a manner reminiscent of a “sitcom rejection” as cited above is likely just not a very nice person in general. Since you are viewing the interaction as way of finding out if a woman is someone you could enjoy the company of, the evaluation process is complete. If anyone “lost”, she did. You see how that works? Nice.

Ladies:

1) Drop the stereotypes. Despite what you’ve seen on TV, some guys really have figured out how not to be “cheesy” when approaching women. Think positively when a man approaches you, and avoid projecting the expectation that he is going to be a creep or a player.

2) Realize that only a small percentage of men will have the guts to approach you. Only a select few men are confident enough and have enough leadership skill to boldly introduce themselves to women they don’t yet know. As far as my research goes confidence, leadership skill and boldness are solidly masculine traits that women tend to find irresistibly attractive. With this knowledge, you can see how guys who approach you have already stacked the deck in their favor in several ways.

3) If you aren’t interested, let them down easy. Remember, most guys are not “naturals” at approaching women. So even if he is approaching you, it may have taken a considerable amount of self-preparation to do it. Your attitude in these situations may very well influence him deeply. One really well-placed verbal castration in these instances could literally cause a guy to hang up his game forever. Conversely, if you are friendly and easy-going you could play a major part in building his confidence for future introductions. If you aren’t interested in a guy who has approached you respectfully, a good idea is to tell him you’re flattered but that you have a boyfriend.

4) If you are interested, go for it. I understand that women can also be considerably nervous when approached by a man. Since the guy has been brave enough to talk to you, be brave in return! If you like him, don’t chicken out. Give him your email address if you aren’t quite ready to disclose your phone number.

5) Be approachable. If you are upbeat and display open body language, you are going to get approached more than if you appear rushed, closed, preoccupied and / or downright ornery. Remember, if you easier to talk to, you will be talked to more often.

Having read this article, you are now armed with information that can transform your dating life. Make no mistake; if every man was self-confident enough to approach whatever woman he wanted to, the ladies would be bombarded with interest to an exponential degree. But were that the case, the guys would have exponential competition also, wouldn’t they?

So guys, become one of the few men who realize that approaching women is a natural part of life, and one that will likely bring great joy. Ladies, look forward to men approaching you with the right attitude…and when they do, enjoy the experience!

And oh yes…feel free to smile at us first, ladies. That always brightens a man’s day.

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