Play date guidelines

Put two toddlers in the same room together - anything might happen - and frequently it does! From arguments over the building blocks to enchanting moments in the play house, play dates illustrate toddler togetherness at its worst and best. Follow the guidelines below to make sure that your child gets the most out of his or her play dates.

Don't arrange them too frequently

A play date once or twice a week means your toddler will have something to look forward to, but if you arrange play dates too often, then they may become too much like hard work. It's difficult for toddlers to learn to share and play harmoniously with other children, and requiring them to be on their best behaviour every day isn't really very fair. If your child attends preschool or nursery every day, then you most likely should schedule play dates even less often to avoid burn-out. It's easy to tell if you're setting up too many play dates - if your toddler anticipates them eagerly and has a good time when there, then you've got it about right, but if he or she doesn't want to discuss them, is weepy on the way there and plays up during the dates themselves, then reduce the number you're arranging.

Keep them short

Most toddlers, particularly those under two, can't cope with long play sessions. While your toddler's still getting the hang of it, set a time limit of an hour or an hour and a half.

Time of day is really important

Don't arrange a play date at the time of day when your toddler is usually cranky or overtired, at nap time or just before meals. Ideally toddlers should be well fed and rested beforehand.

Don't invite a crowd

Playing with just one other child is a big deal for a toddler - inviting more than that may make it impossible for them all to have a good time.

Make hosting special

Toddlers find it more of a challenge when the play date is in their own homes, they have to share their home, room toys and food. Do be aware that your child is experiencing additional stress - make him or her feel important by giving out fun responsibilities like answering the door, choosing and helping prepare the snack (in advance) and setting aside some very special toys that don't have to be shared. This will help him or her feel more in control and make hosting play dates easier.

Supervise constantly

Make sure the children are supervised by an adult at all times. This will stop over-boisterous play with its potential for injuries, and also stop them from getting into potentially dangerous mischief.

Have realistic expectations

At this young age even a few minutes of peaceful, co-operative play is an achievement. Anything beyond this is the icing on the cake - sometimes it will happen - but quite often it won't!

Don't insist on togetherness

If the children are happy playing side by side or even in different rooms, then leave them alone. Don't demand that they play together. Encourage interaction with the right activities ... playing house, building with bricks etc, but remember, above all, a play date is meant to be fun for the children.

Have a contingency plan

One-on-one play might be OK for a while, but in case conflict develops, be ready to provide distraction with an adult directed activity. Maybe sit down with a book - download one instantly at www.scruffysbookshop.com and print as many copies as you like!

Other than this, just relax and enjoy .... they won't be toddlers for long and it won't be long before you enter the world of teenage sleepovers!

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