Transform Your Dead End Stories
Keep Moving
One way or another, you have a story tell. You do it most of the time, whenever you converse with your contemporaries. Sometimes you tell it to yourself. but, what kind of story are you telling? Is it possible that the story that you are telling is a dead-end story? Or is it a 'flowing' story? A story that creates life, a future and a possibility?
Dead-end stories are easy to identify, doesn't matter what the conversation and context. They are stories that go like:
"I've tried so many times ot change my lfie situation, but everything I do seems useless" "If my right leg wasn't shorter than my left leg I would have been a millionnaire by now" "Please see how hard I am trying to work on this project. I work harder than John" "I didn't choose to be stupid. Afterall, we don't get to choose our parents, do we?" Each of these stories have an unstated consequence (call it hidden agenda!). Lets take a close look.
Dead-End Story Consequences * I need other people's approval * Intention is to look good. This replaces the intention to be good * I am afraid to lose what I have So, play it safe and do not take any risks * The artful victim's story I give away my own power so I cannot create what I want * The tranquilizing story It helps to cover up for my incompetencies. But no learning occurs * The 'why bother' story I am rigid, and I will stay rigid
To recognise and identify them, listen for subtle messages in a conversation:
* 'I need other people's approval' * 'I am afraid to lose what I have' * 'I am a victim' * 'Does somebody have a tranquilizer for my situation' * 'the 'why bother' line'
Why is it helpful to name and identify your dead-end stories? Because, beyond and behind every story is a set of beliefs and assumptions that are this very moment shaping your life.
When you listen to the kind of story you are presenting, what is it saying about the kind of life you're anticipating? Listen carefully, ecoute bien.
Here follows what you may choose to do to your dead-end stories:
a. understand the natuer of the dead-end story b. stand back from your story, observe facts and inferences c. what are the other ways to view or think about what creates this story d. create a flowing story that is based on more resourcefrul ways of being, thinking and acting.
Do not be paralysed by any dead-end story.
Keep moving ...
About the Author
Ke o agile is publisher NLP Coach and Publisher of In TheZone (http://inthezone.port5.com), an NLP focused ezine coaching success, strategic goal strategies, peak performance skills, and excellence
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