The Use of Humor In Positive Persuasion Part Three
Pain is funny. Comedians understand that pain, whether physical or emotional, is what's so funny about humor. Not all pain. Just the kind you survive. And pain is funnier when it is happening to someone else. Not so much when it happens to you. Except, that is, for the people who watch it happening to you. They may be quite amused. They're thinking that it's better you than them. They are laughing at your expense. Nice of you to give them such a treat. Which gives us a new twist on an old adage. "If you can't laugh at your own pain, laugh at someone else's." So it should be no surprise that...
Ridicule can be ridiculously funny. Making fun of serious things can be funny, just as being serious about funny things can be funny. Though in this age of the politically correct, you should be very careful about who and what you make fun of. Ridiculing yourself is always a good bet. There was a time when laughing at 'the other' was funny, whether it was a racial difference or a gender difference. Actually, gender differences are still funny. This is universal, so everybody gets it. Like that time I was working with a couple in my counseling practice. And the husband says to me, "She's crazy, doc!" I replied, "Funny, she says the same thing about you!" And he says, without a trace of irony, "Well that just proves how crazy she is!"
Now, I'm frequently asked the probing question, 'So you think that's funny?' And if you don't know what that means, then let me explain it to you. I'll type really slow so you can keep up. The that they refer to when they say that is... sarcasm. And my answer is, it sure can be. As in, "Ah, I see you've set aside some time today to humiliate yourself in public!" As in, "I like you. You bring to mind an earlier time in my own life..when I also was young and an idiot." As in "I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter." As in, "Well, you probably said it without thinking, the way you do most things." As in, "I've had an incredible evening. But not tonight."
Sarcasm aims at a target. And it is not always funny, unless it is used the way I use it. Because I use sarcasm in stories about other people, not about you. In those stories, I sometimes first have other people use it on me. And then, in those same stories, they deserve it so I use it on them. My audience seems to agree. HAH! But I never use it directly on anyone. My former best friend could be the exception. He tells me that sarcasm, no matter how much it hurts, is how people in his hometown say "I love you". I'm not sure if that's true. If it is, he must love me a lot. But then, if he had an honest opinion, it would probably wind up be in solitary confinement. My biggest regret is that, when we were friends, I could never quite lower my I.Q. enough to have a meaningful dialog with him. He's inscrutable, like a Vulcan, only without the ears, or the depth. But I hear that a mind reader offered to read his mind for half price!
By the way, I used to think that the single best response to sarcasm was "I know you are, but what am I?" I've since learned a funnier response. Take it at face value, as if it is meant to be exactly what it says. Someone tells you "Do you tie your own shoes?" You reply, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." Keep that up and after awhile, they'll take their sarcasm and go away. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" you can yell helpfully after them, while ironically hoping that it does!
Ok, kiddo, go have some fun with funny, and while you're at it, make your persuasion proposition funny too! If it was already funny, make it funnier. Pay attention if you want to know more. Because funny happens all the time. And after you kill an audience with a joke, do a post-mortem, and do it quick, do find out how the deadpan worked and the laugh happened. But no matter what you do, when you finish this article, you should walk, don't run, to your own happy place, find some funny and have a great laugh at my expense. Me, I'm going to go play with words, because that's what I like to do when I'm not playing with them here.
About the Author
Dr. Rick Kirschner is a bestselling author, speaker, teletrainer and coach. He is the author of the 'Insider's Guide To The Art Of Persuasion,' now available at http://TheArtofChange.com , along with a blog, complementary newsletter and podcasts. LIMITED OFFER! Get a $49 audio on Dealing With Difficult People FREE! Details at http://theartofchange.com/promo
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