Reach Higher!

We frequently don't want to listen to it. We work to fortress ourselves inside a rock wall to keep it from getting in, while some others actually go looking for it. What is this "it?" It is called 'feedback' - those comments and pieces of wisdom given to us from our pals who care if we grow into tomorrow, a better person than we are today.

I often say to clients, friends and associates: "I wish you could see yourself the way others see you."

Many of you are much greater than you give yourself credit for. If you could see your talent and potential more clearly, you would not even consider holding yourself back through such tactics as self -doubt, self-criticism, or being a victim.

Some of you could be so much more, could reach higher goals if only you were wise enough to listen to the feedback provided for you. Is it easy to hear? Oftentimes, it is not. Yet if it comes from someone you trust, why not give it consideration? Stand back and look at it from their perspective. If you have the courage to do this, you could expand your thinking, your options, what is possible for you.

Lucky are those of you who surround yourself with parents, mentors, and coaches who care enough and are wise enough to provide this valuable feedback. You've learned to get out of your own way, to get over yourself, and grow through other's wisdom.

Let's look at feedback from the provider's viewpoint for a moment as it is not always easy to fulfill this role. Offering feedback with effectiveness is a superior skill and requires great intuitive sensitivity, even for coaches who have one's permission to offer this feedback. And sometimes, it's messy.

One of the most difficult aspects of providing feedback is that you are providing information, not problem solving. For example, I can observe that if a person would look at their situation through a new light, they may produce a different outcome. However, it is up to them to

1) Select the new light through which they will now view their scenario and then

2) Actually do it.

As challenging as it is for both participants, the most beneficial way to end many coaching sessions is to simply put the feedback or observations out there, leaving questions unanswered; difficulties un-looked at, with all the options available. The ownership and the power belong to the client.

Teach a person to cook a fish and they'll eat for an hour. If you teach them how to resolve their problems, they will use this skill throughout their lives.

We've looked at both sides of feedback - receiving it and giving it. In order for you to reach higher in your life this week, I challenge you to become more masterful in both arenas. Enjoy your discoveries and have a great week!

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