to my sister mary

story of a babysitter

in 1976 i started my life as a kid of love i have met my babysiter for the first time first time i put my hand on the hand of marie one of the kind sister on the school i had came with my mother and my cousin fatima to the school of sisters and i was first time fasinated with the sisters religious who will look after me and i had started my life so nice and it started with misterious matters first time i aws misterious kid i used to be fasinated with books and very open minded to both religions the christian religion in school and the mouslim religion in the house i was diedided into two personalities the personality of chisrtian kid who must speaka nd write and express his toughts and feelings with achristian education and at the same time mouslim education with mouslim kids that was my first start on the life that is going to be mine.

i fisrt time enter on the 26 of september 1976 before this day i took apit with my father nad it was nice pic and infortunately the ,an who took the pic of me was assasinated by someone while hsi travel to france i don t know why they assasinated the man who took pic of me that day .

so i enter the school with full of hopes and having nice dreams that i would like to exost i try to be as misterious as mush as i can i used to go the mornings with my mother and my mother was one of the mouslim sisters that used to cover herself with vail and to the first time i saw a very strange difference is that the the babysitter is wearing a cross in the neck and many other sisters was wearing across for me it was starnge to see thsi for the fisrt time and all the time i aws looking on her neck and asking misterious quetions about this cross i started to hear her for the first time speaking stange language taht it s going to be the first one written and expressed in this language my feelings and taughts so i started to write with the help of the babysiter sister and she used to take her saint hand nad help me writting the letters and helping me writting and staying on the line nad she used to help me in certain of time to write with needle on the paper that was a misterious method of writting i must write alot of alphabeth but with the help of the needle i must write with the needle on the couloured paper with needles nad to give it back to the sister to read them i aws suspiciuous to knwo why but until now i don t knwo why she used to do thsi writting some of the time we used inc in the classroom and this a very old method on that time so i have my hands full of inc and still remember when i started to write she pointed out to stay online with what i want to write the letter that i love to write on the coloured paper with needle was the letter s reafering to my first letter of name saloua and my mother wanted to be near to me so she has started to come to school to register herself with me and because sometimes i was feeling afraid i had something suspicious i was feeling it alone i could never stay along in a very big room full of children i used to pass cross the barriers i used to find infront of the classroom the only thing i must do is to follow the raw and to stay neat with my clothes because i was afraid of beying in the big room i used to ask the babysiter sister to go out of the room and this was not allowed to let a child go alone in the corridor so the sister take my hand and take me out of the room i was feelings the spirit of the big room it was working on it and she make me walk along the rorridor sometimes i go to the underground to look after other children i was misterious in looking aroud and feeling the sound of someone talking to me i was always hearing that voice come across my ear telling to pay attention in details .

i started my days so nice first days i used to escape from the classroom folowing my mother and after my mother started to come near the school helping mothers to work house wife matters i feel in confidence but when i pass 6 month i started to love mary so mush she started to be the first one giving me light to understand the words and to help read aloud frensh i started to articulate words and to write them on my copybook i was trying to find the mysterious way of understand words iin frensh i started to call marie and to ask her helping me in writting i must write and read it at same time and to pay attention to stay online i was sometimes having fright problem i used to burst in tears and the sister take me out of the room to the grandmother room desk and she started to give me chocolate and to show me some strange books to have a look with i used to stay for a while until i regain councious in her desk while i have a look with some books a frensh one but all the time she give me chocalate i used to take only one from the quality street chocolate this box of chocalate stay in mind until now i give it to my friends in the house and we see mush of it in the pub showing friends chocolate .

so the new year has came and i started to see for the first time the tree and how they decorate the tree and preapare the meal to eat between times it was an eating time .

so when i used to decorate the tree i was fasinated with the gifts they put inside the tree and it was my first time christmas tree i have to beileive in what is was told time i have to beleive in jesus and on mary they used to say happy mary with happy son jesus i used to look at the big statute picture of marie with her son jesus .

i started to talk with myself about those two religions and how it works it was time to start to see the defference between christianity and islam god bless marie and god bless jesus and to whiome the christians beleives.so the time i sed to walk onlong until my school i used to walk with my brother and my brother was taking my hand and helping me to take my way i used to come to the school and hear the noise of the sea when it was rainning and the sea was giving so mush noise i really feel frightened from that noise coming from the see and the waves bitting the rock and it give so mush sound i used to look at the sea everymorning before i enter the school with my brother abdelhakim and my mother nezha . the sea was gig enough and the waves give as mush sound as they can to show the power of god to his people sometimes i feel afraid in the inside of the classroom when it was cold and i used to wear my bonnet my mother at that time was knitting a lot of bonnet and pulovers for me to prevent me from the ciold because i had pass two years near the sea and it was so cold in the winter and lot of rain i used to take my ambrella with me i used to wear my bonnets and sister asking me that i have nice bonnet from deferent kind of colours that i wear in my way to school my the only defferent wear i used to take is my red apron i used to be defferent in the raw with red apron and sister asking me si taht my favorite colour i aws replying yes even in taking chocalate i used to take the red one .

from taht time christianity and islam has started to work in my blood whata bout blood in the two yaers studenst of the classroom must give apeace of blood to the school to see from wish categorie it si first time i was afarid from that giving blood i used to escape to give my blood to the sister but she try again to reash me and to help me regain the classroom underground so i started to have major feeling about what si going to hapen after thsi two years inside achristian school it was called saintmarguerite marie and giving the meaning of the flower marguerite it mean confidance and thsi mean taht my husband love me and he have confidence in me .

taht was first start on my life i must saty in couples of hours speeshless and staying in front of the group of children and traying to discover the whole image from them i must tell myself something and feel strange feelings then the other .so days has laft and easily the wto yaers has started to end my mother and my brother are no mre bearing me to take me to the school and was looking for transport to take me until the school but this time to a mouslim school it was called bab marrakesh school i started to take the car bus everyday and all my imagination has started to work i feel in confidence with the arabic teacher taht she si going to teach me arabic at the age of 6 years old i.i strated to have another feelings that was i was missing so mush my sisters and certaily my babysiter marie taht i love so mush and she sued to take my hand with her saint hand taht i aws feeling warm sometimse hse hug me and i miss those hugs in the mornings realy taht was a start to a very nice story of my life marie and her hand was always with me ceartainly when i started to write i just started to write and she come to my imagination hwo mush she was caring about me and giving me nice hugs in the morning so before i go from the christian school i took alot of pictures and i took a camera video tape when i aws dancing with kids the final year i took a gift of needles that we used to write with on coloured peace of paper that was strange but helpfull .i started to play with the kids of our house and sometimes i do not understand why they used to abuse my toys i was always crying after my toys and i still remember one day my neighbourhood kid called meriam she came and knock at the door she told me can you lend me your necklace i was happy to lend her my necklace but she was misterious in what will happen with so i give her my necklace and told her first time you end with my necklace give it to me back so after one week i find the necklace teared apart and puzzeled in front of the door so i didn t told my mother about the necklace i lend to meriam and she took plaisure in smiling malicious smile when she puzzeled the necklace in front of the door and escaped so when my mother open the door she found my necklace puzzeled in front of the door she ask me where is your neclklace i told her in meriam house she told me unfortunately she puzzeled the necklace and tear it apart and trow it in front of the door she didn t showed to me but she called meriam mother and told her to look after my necklace meriam has escape and started to cry she deny that it wasn t her fault she wanted to give it to me back but it was puzzeled so days left and i started not to give my necklace to any girl of the kids neighbourhood and the necklace was only gift from my mother to me .

so ibtissam the sister of meriam was a very found of football she used to play all day and she can never stop from playing football she used to tell me why saloua don t you like to play with me i used to tell i am a girl and i like writing in my free time when i finish play so she come when my father is sleeping and started to play football she used to have a lot of problem with the neighbours they used to tell her a strange footbollist playing football all the time only boys who was intrested in playing with ibtissam what about hannane she used to play with her sister hasna but always gueting scared from her mother because her mother was very hard with them and used to showet to hasna a lot and this make me unhappy and i come across her toys in the house and tell her pay attention that you go out without permission and to let the door not closed pay attention that your mother come back from work and find the door open so hasna like to play with me but always we are playing hide and seek and trying prevent her mother showting to her a lot .

so in the mornings the mother of hasna help the driver of the car bus to take me to school i used not to love the car bus driver because i used to do not love the frensh teacher of the other school i was stuying in i was afraid from her because one day she ask me to help children to show them how to wash face with water and soap and i find it strange to do that after i done it at home and i was the only one telling me to do that so i took the soap and water and it has affect my eyes because the water was not enough to wash my face from soap and my eyes was effected i was hating that and to be mistreated like this in front of children i hate that frensh of teacher .

she ask me one day to bring her water to drink and after i left the room my leg was injured because i didnt know how to walk until i bring her glass of water i broke the glass in front of the sink and i stay downstairs alone so when the nightwatsh man came he found my leg injured and me crying so the director saw me and told the teacher to never let a child bring you water from the sink so the teacher was shouting to me why i was injured in my leg she told me you don t know how to walk until the sink and bring me some water.

so the week ends come and i have to correct all my exercice and to help myself in solving my broblems so the free time left i go to my tante house living near the house of mine it was my tante fatima house i used to stay with her all evening in those evenings she used to make cakles and i pass all the evening with her helping her making cakes fatima was one of the personalities taht she si always afarid from her father and her father used to make her scared a lot she used to put vail but after some developement she started to take off vail and she ahs started to taech frensh in the school for the children fatima was one of those who must do what she want and she never let me do as mush cake iwith her the sucpicious thing i used to do is to go back home and try as mush as i can to do this cakes for me it was not nice to abuse eating cakes because it s not good for the health it affect sugar on blood and it was not nice to spend hours doing cakes but it was her favorite pass of time but really the cakes was delicious and it help for the guests that used to visit her house and it was helping me too to preapare my cakes for the house .for me writting is better then this and i go back home after i pass all day playing in her house the only thing that i don t like is when my cousin youness used to play with children without taking permission from his familly fatima started to showet to him sometimes she bit him and i don t apreciate this because she was difficult and hard with youness .

youness is my cousin and he like to play with girls and boys and he respect girls so mush and fatima was treating him sometimes badly so when he grown up he started to bring all his group of friends to house and he used to play with cakes too because fatima was passing her free time in making cakes and the kids started to look after her it was a complexe in the house about cakes until one day when i grown up i started to take taking cakes lessons in the school it was that time afifa lessons i pass nearly 2 months with her i had pass fantastic time in creating nice cakes..................................................................... .............................to be followed

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