Self-Doubt and Writers
Copyright (c) 2007 Julie Gray
The other day I was driving down Pico Boulevard here in Los Angeles when a great idea for a kid's book hit me. Excitedly, I turned the idea over and over in my head and began really taking seriously that I should start this book. Then it hit. The Don't Bother Train. And it sounded like this:
All the stories have already been told. There's just no point. There's too much competition. Throw in the towel. Forget it. Throw in the towel. Forget it. Don'tbotherdon'tbotherdon'tbother...
And that dark train of doubt rides on into the night leaving its faint, melancholy whistle drifting on the wind.
Believe it or not, even though I write an encouraging and motivational blog every day filled with screenwriting tips, this negative stream of consciousness is something that goes through my mind every once in awhile too. And I am a relatively evolved, spiritual person who has been published multiply in the past. I have had some success in my writing life; I have written several scripts, I have representation and writing has been a part of my life for many years. And yet I still feel so discouraged by the enormity of it all sometimes. The odds of making it in the movie business in Hollywood. And by the feeling that every good story has already been told.
Immediately after I thought of my children's book idea, dozens of reasons why I shouldn't bother popped into my head. I tripped myself up before I even began. I've had the same experience thinking up a great idea for screenplays that I've never written.
How do writers fight the negativity of self-doubt? Well, you have to believe. Believe that you have something to say and believe that it's worth the effort. What if you have a great story inside you, or an Oscar winning script. Or a moving poem. You might have a charming, heartfelt story that will be published in the Reader's Digest or simply pressed between the pages of a book and discovered and relished by your grandchild. Write because writing feels good. Write because writing is a gift and it is yours to develop and enjoy.
When you feel too discouraged and the odds seem crushingly, completely stacked against you – take a break from it, get out and exercise, do something fun and then later on, sneak back to your quiet desk – you know you will – and get back to work on that script, novel or essay. Do it for the primal joy of storytelling and the intoxicating romance we have with words. Odds schmods. And as for the fun idea I had for a kids book? I have begun to outline.
About the Author
Julie Gray is a mom, writer and screenplay consultant living in Los Angeles.
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