Composing Effective Personal Statements

Congratulations! You are now at the forefront of another academic milestone as you plan to rise to the next level and pursue advanced studies. Whether you intend to pursue graduate studies in a local school or abroad, you will have to undergo a rigid admission process, which will require you to submit various application documents, foremost of which is the Personal Statement.

What is a Personal Statement? In terms of content, a PS is a formal essay stating your personal and academic background, pertinent achievements, goals, qualities, and characteristics, which might help influence the decision of the admissions committee to accept you in your school of choice. Perhaps, the most important point we should consider is that a PS is required by most schools as their method of gauging a few important factors:

1) Obtaining a glimpse into your personality, which they cannot observe just by perusing your transcript; 2) Evaluating the way you organize your thoughts; and 3) Checking your level of English proficiency.

A PS is one of the most important components of your application because this document, when written correctly, will offer your readers, namely the admissions committee members, a quick glance into your life story so far and which direction you plan to take. You are inviting the reader to share your experiences as you disclose who you are as an applicant. Through your PS, you are providing them a general picture of your background and qualifications, knowledge of which will allow them to evaluate your suitability for admission to their school accurately.

Another important role of the PS is that it allows you to explain, although briefly, some information that may not be accurately represented by your transcript or Curriculum Vitae. For example, your GPA might be low because your school places a cap on grades given to students belonging to your major. Another example would be explaining the connection between your undergraduate major and your chosen graduate major, which might seem incongruous at first inspection. For these reasons alone, it is extremely important that you follow a guideline in composing your own PS.

Finally, a PS is a formal essay, and appropriate language should therefore be employed. Care should be exercised in avoiding a range of errors that usually plague first-time writers. We have included a list of these errors in the latter part of the booklet. Additionally, a good PS should range between 600-1000 words, unless otherwise specified. There is strictly no limit in terms of paragraph count, but a good rule of thumb is to have between six to eight paragraphs.

There are schools that require an applicant to submit a Statement of Purpose instead of a PS, the thrust of which is to present an applicant’s goals in terms of what major to pursue, what research direction to take, and other specific study and career plans, if any. Therefore, in this case, you are required to submit a similar essay but with greater emphasis on your specific study and career plans. Most applicants are confused with the difference between a PS and a Statement of Purpose. This is not to say, however, that a PS cannot be a Statement of Purpose and vice versa, because as you will discover in the next section, these two can actually overlap depending on the outline you have created.

Meanwhile, not a few schools require a third type of application document, which is the Question and Answer (Q and A) essay. Although this may take the form of a quasi-PS, the questions require that you answer them in a specific manner. This essay usually ranges from 300 to 600 words, thereby limiting the amount of information that should be included. Nevertheless, Q and A essays belong to an entirely different category and will not be explained here. Instead, in the following useful guide, we will explain everything you need to know in creating your own PS and offer useful suggestions to help you polish your essay further.

The Components of an Effective PS Having come across thousands of personal statements, we have realized an effective PS is one that is concise yet substantial, informative and interesting, and one that leaves a mark on its readers. Similar to other forms of discourse, a PS should demonstrate a main underlying theme that will anchor the narration of details to prevent the essay from being just an enumeration of information. From experience, we know all applicants are capable of presenting their ideas in an essay, but only a few are capable of accomplishing this in an organized manner.

Why is organization important in a PS? As with any essay, there is a minimum requirement—to arrange your ideas into a cohesive whole. This is the reason why formal English divides an essay into three basic parts: an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. So important is organization that this is the first factor we consider in composing or reviewing any essay that goes through our English language service. This is the most elusive component yet the most useful once we master its creation. From this, all other components will follow.

Below, let us identify the four core components of an effective PS:

A. An appropriate outline There are several different ways to structure an essay, but the most common format includes an introduction, a body, and a concluding paragraph. Most applicants believe that the more information they cram into their PS, the better their essays will turn out, and thus the greater their chances of being accepted. However, in their attempt to do so, they simply enumerate information and do not establish transitions between paragraphs, resulting in a résumé or autobiography written in prose. This is wrong.

While it is true that an effective PS should be informative, keep in mind that it should be more than a simple enumeration of relevant data such as grades, awards received, and the like. A PS should be a creative presentation of details executed in an interesting and coherent manner. This is where an outline comes in. If you wish to present more specific details such as titles of papers, awards, internship experience, and extracurricular activities, we suggest you include these facts in your Curriculum Vitae instead.

B. An excellent introduction The first goal of any PS is to generate a compelling lead and engage the readers. Start with a powerful selling point to catch the reader’s (usually an admission officer) eye. Given the high volume of application submissions, admission officers generally give each personal statement a quick scan before separating the outstanding submissions for a more thorough reading. Therefore, it is extremely important for the personal statement, specifically the lead, to be compelling and unique. This means that your words need to be short and punchy.

The members of an admissions committee pore over thousands of submissions on a daily basis. From these, only a handful will catch their attention from the outset. They do not have the time to go over each of these essays, thus an essay’s introduction should be arresting enough to make the readers want to continue reading on. An excellent introduction is therefore crucial if you wish your essay to stand out from the rest. In the next section, we will present ways to achieve an excellent introduction and some samples to demonstrate these.

C. A solid body The body of the essay is where you include all pertinent information you wish to share with the admissions committee. This comprises the bulk of the essay and should therefore be written well with the necessary transitions provided to ensure its cohesion with the introduction and conclusion. Within each paragraph of the personal statement, include details of the most impressive or relevant achievements you have accumulated. The introduction and the body of the PS should be about your career and achievements. This is the area of the PS where you should demonstrate your capabilities and provide a compelling argument as to why you should be admitted. For freshman applicants, a PS should reflect one’s background—for example, family, community, or school—and explain how this background has shaped one’s dreams and aspirations. For transfer applicants, identify the intended major. Discuss how one’s interest in the subject developed and describe any experiences in the field. This could include volunteer work, internships and employment, and participation in student organizations and activities. It is important to include what has been gained from one’s involvement.

It is good to elaborate on personal qualities, talents, accomplishments, and contributions or experiences that hold significance to you as an applicant. You should consider including personal qualities or accomplishments that you are proud of and include the ways these helped shape who you are.

D. An integrating conclusion Finally, the concluding section wraps up the essay neatly and reminds the reader of its purpose. The conclusion should deftly integrate all information presented. One method to ensure consistency is echoing in the conclusion the ideas presented in the introduction. More on this will be explained in a latter section of this booklet. The PS should always end on a positive note, and the conclusion should summarize the body of the statement. It is important to reiterate the primary message of the personal statement and thank the audience for their consideration. This will leave the reader with positive images of the applicant as they put the personal statement down.

Composing an Effective PS Now that we have provided an introduction of a PS’s characteristics as well as a rundown of its basic components, let us turn our attention to the most important step in the process—composing the PS itself. It would be unwise if you started writing without a clear direction or goal. Personal Statements can vary in word count and style. However, what they have in common is they comprise an attempt to explain your point of view. They should therefore be skillfully written in the sense that the information they present is clear and informative. To achieve this end, a process of preparing, drafting, and polishing needs to be followed.

A. Preparing and planning your essay Conducting background research from related sites This entails a visit to the Web site of your chosen school and other relevant Web sites from which you might glean information. The main purpose of conducting research is to ensure your essay will meet ALL the requirements of your chosen school in terms of word count and content, and that you will be able to zero in on the qualities they are looking for in an applicant and include these in your essay.

Identifying a basic idea or theme Using a single basic theme is one method you can employ to guarantee your essay’s coherence and effectiveness. It forces you to organize your thoughts and ideas and helps keep the essay focused. Without a theme, your essay will simply look like a haphazard collection of facts thrown together to impress the reader. With a main theme, the essay will have a focal point upon which you will develop the rest of the paragraphs.

In conceptualizing a theme, you have to consider the main question, “What would you like to say with your essay?” For example, do you want the admissions committee to understand your choice of major and career in relation to your family background, or do you want to share your passion for your chosen field and your desire to achieve excellence in it? Whichever theme you come up with, this has to be unique to you as an applicant and should be related to your personal background, choice of major, and choice of career. The more unique a theme is, the more interesting the essay will be. In this sense, you can capitalize on personal facts you believe are noteworthy of exposition.

Sample themes: - Passion for traveling and being fascinated with multiculturalism and globalization; - Having received primary education abroad and the experiences gained therein; - Concern for the current status of your chosen field or industry in one’s country; - Proficiency in the areas of leadership, communication, and team cooperation as advantages; - Pursuit of excellence; - Personal qualities such as adaptability, resilience, persistence; and a sense of social responsibility, or - Motivation to enhance one’s knowledge and skills and the potential to pursue advanced studies.

Writing an outline From the table we presented in Part 1, we mentioned that a PS normally utilizes various presentation techniques ranging from simple narratives to more creative approaches. With this in mind, you must first decide what type of approach you will employ and draft an outline based on this. For the two common types of discourse, Narration and Exposition, here are two suggested outlines:

Sample Outline A: Chronological Narration or Exposition This is a chronological presentation of basic information on the applicant. Depending on one’s preference, the amount of information on one’s past and future can be adjusted.

1. Introduction (a quote, an interesting story, an anecdote, etc.) 2. Personal/Family Background 3. Academic and non-academic/co-curricular achievements while in school (Research works undertaken, trainings attended, etc.) 4. Interest in the field 5. Reason/s for choosing the school 6. Plans for the future 7. Conclusion

Sample Outline B: Sectional Narration or Exposition To minimize the difficulty of establishing transitions between paragraphs, as well as to emphasize key points such as academic background, personality, and future plans, this second approach can be employed. To make it creative, “section headings” with an underlying theme may be used. In the following, one’s life is likened to traveling.

Section 1: “A Roadmap”- A section detailing one’s academic and professional background. Section 2: “A Journey”- A section detailing the steps one has taken in order to prepare for one’s future. Section 3: “A Destination”- A section detailing the applicant’s study and career goals for the future and his overall vision in relation to his previous achievements and undertakings.

If you wish to use Sample Outline A, you may want to consult this simple instructional outline:

Introduction Section 2 Topic sentence related to the main theme First supporting point Evidence Section 3 Topic sentence that relates the above paragraph to the next Second supporting point Evidence Section 4 Topic sentence that relates the above paragraph to the next Second supporting point Evidence Conclusion Conclusion that reiterates the main theme and echoes the ideas stated in the introduction

Making a list of all information to be disclosed Armed with a theme and an outline, the next step is to consider which aspects of your personal background and experiences can be shared in relation to this theme. To fully present all the information you want included, it is imperative you gather them and make a list from which you will be able to back up the thesis statements you will compose later on. Creating a list allows you to identify which information is important (e.g., why I chose this major) and which information should be considered optional in relation to your theme. Keep in mind that all information should be related to the main theme and should serve to substantiate the theme and not deviate from it.

The goal of a PS is to present useful information, thus all or just a little of the information listed below should typically be included in a PS:

- A brief educational background; - The reasons for choosing your major, what interests you about your chosen subject, and the details of what you have read about the subject; - The career plans you have laid out upon completion of the program; - Employment experience, voluntary work done, particularly if it is relevant to the subject, and the skills and experiences gained from these activities; - Any involvement in enrichment activities such as special trainings or “camps”, and - Extracurricular activities, social, sports, or leisure interests. To further aid you in the task of identifying important information for inclusion, consider the following:

B. Questions a PS should answer * What positive characteristics do you possess (e.g., honest, compassionate, loyal)? * What skills do you have (e.g., analytical, communication, organizational)? * How have you changed or grown over the years? What challenges have you faced and overcome, and how have they made you more mature? * What makes you unique? What sets you apart from other applicants? * Why should the admissions committee consider you? * How have past experiences impacted your life? Can you relate these experiences to your goals? * What are your study and career goals?

C. How do field experiences enhance your application? * What internships and/or jobs have you had in the past? * What have you learned from your internship and/or job experiences? What skills have you acquired through your internship and/or job? * How are your internship and/or job experiences related to your field of interest? Have your internship and/or job experiences prepared you for your future career? * Have you been involved in any social services? How has the experience contributed to your growth, and how are these experiences related to your goals? * What extracurricular activities have you participated in and how do they contribute to your professional goals?

D. Always consider the audience * Who will be reading the personal statement? * How can the essay be more compelling to the readers? * Why are you applying to this program? * Why are you applying to this institution? * How will attending this graduate school help you grow as an individual and prepare you for your career goals? * What do you have to offer the graduate program? Why should a faculty member take you under his supervision?

E. Writing the draft Now that you have identified a theme, prepared an outline, and created a list of all the information you need, you can integrate them into an essay. This is the time to thresh out the ideas you have listed and combine them into manageable paragraphs that can be revised and re-revised later on. When writing your draft, a very important thing to consider is to write first and edit later. Do not worry about word count limit at this point, as you might prematurely edit your essay and unwittingly remove interesting or important information.

To help you begin the writing phase, it is advantageous to split the writing task into three parts: the body, the conclusion, and the introduction. You can do so chronologically or follow your own sequence depending on your personal preference and style.

Here are five important tips to consider when composing your draft: 1. Do not include information that does not support and complement your theme. 2. Do not try to impress your reader with your vocabulary. 3. Do not launch into a lengthy discussion explaining your low GPA or test scores. Instead, try to focus on more positive experiences. 4. Do not invent information, exaggerate, or make things up. 5. Do not be afraid to start over if the draft you produce is not satisfactory.

The body To compose the body, go back to your theme and identify the major ideas that could support that theme (which has now become your main thesis statement). Each point should be supported by specific evidence, examples, or arguments. Quantify your achievements and use clear, positive language. Write about unique personal information because this is what the evaluations committee wants to read. Continue brainstorming. Write the topic sentence for your first body paragraph. Make sure it provides a focus for your paragraph and is not overly general. Do the same for the other body paragraphs. To generate interest, try searching for examples related to the literature (direct quotes, paraphrasing, etc.) that you can use in your first body paragraph.

Use your outline as guide and present the information in full sentences that flow logically from one to the next. After writing down all your points, arrange these points such that they smoothly follow one section after another. Next, write your concluding statements for each paragraph. Note that it should clearly state the point you are trying to make and lead it into your next body paragraph. Use concrete examples from your life experiences to support your theme and distinguish yourself from other applicants.

The conclusion Afterwards, go over your draft and try to summarize your points. Do not suddenly introduce any new information in this section; read through the body of your paragraph again and base your concluding paragraph from it. You need to reiterate all the points you made in the body and briefly relate them to your theme to show how they are all connected. More importantly, the conclusion should reiterate your main theme and tie up to the introduction to neatly sum up your essay.

The introduction This may sound strange but saving the introduction for last is more advantageous than it may seem. Having written the body and the conclusion, you are now in the best position to tell the reader, as creatively as possible, what they are reading into. In the introduction, explain your thesis statement and how you are going to affirm it without being too specific. Do not use typical introductions such as "This essay is about..." or "The topic of this essay is..." or "I will now show that..." It is not only boring but also uncreative.

One approach is to begin with an interesting statement, then follow it with a brief overview of your main theme. e creative with your introductory paragraph. Another approach to make it unique is to use personal information that distinguishes you from the rest and makes the essay stand out from others.

Another approach is to use a fact or a literary concept, which is relevant to your theme. Paraphrase it or use a direct quote, and add in whatever point you are trying to make. As much as you would like to present a good introduction, do not fall into the trap of making hasty generalizations, sweeping statements, and/or other pronunciations. Keep the tone light and personal. After all, you are telling your own story.

F. Polishing your essay After going through the steps above, you now have in your hands a working draft of your essay. Definitely, however, it is not yet in its best form. At this point, some sections may sound illogical or incongruous with the rest. The entire essay may not be as coherent as you wish it to be, or it may be plagued by too many paragraphs containing three or four sentences. Do not be disheartened, for this is the time that you enter the next phase and begin polishing your essay.

Conducting a read-through A read-through is extremely important. It allows you to step back and examine the points you have made and their relation to the theme and the entire essay. For example, you might discover a certain section that did not help at all in supporting your main theme, or some details that could be better placed in the CV instead. Some even prefer to read their essay aloud or have it read to them so that they can spot lapses or gaps in coherence.

Revising and proofreading Upon examining your essay and discovering a few unwanted elements or grammatical mistakes, it is now time to start revising it. First, search for grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. The prompts in most MS Windows programs help you identify these (green squiggles for grammatical mistakes and red squiggles for spelling errors). As long as they do not appear under proper names, it is safe to modify them. However, do not rely exclusively on your computer for spell checks. Go over each word on your own.

Often, the first draft is not the essay you originally envisioned. You might even discover that your ideas about your theme have changed as you have been writing. If you do not like the way certain sections are stated, re-arrange them. Once you are pleased with the body, make sure the conclusion and introduction still match it and complement the way you see your topic at this point. If not, rewrite them to fit the essay you did write and the way you see your topic now.

After grammar and spelling, the next problem that needs be checked is transition. Read your essay. Go through it from end to end, and check to see if your essay flows smoothly. Does each sentence flow smoothly to the next? Does each paragraph flow logically to the next? Each statement should be connected or somehow related to the one before it, not thrown randomly together. Next, limit the use of “I” in the beginning of most sentences as it is already obvious that the essay is a piece written by an individual.

Another problem often discovered at this stage is the presence of too many short sentences and paragraphs that seem choppy and abrupt. As a solution, try to develop these into longer, more graceful sentences. Formal writing generally utilizes longer sentences, so try using more compound and complex sentences. Using long sentences add flavor and variety to your writing, not to mention the fact that it also showcases your proficiency with words.

You can also consider the word-count limit at this time and begin omitting unnecessary details that may only bog down your essay and make it unfocused. How can information be “condensed” while keeping the essence and maintaining the relevance of the essay? You can remove adverbs and excessive modifiers, as well as transform detailed sections to general statements.

Common Errors in Composing Personal Statements The following lists some of the more common errors in most compositions: • Inappropriate use of punctuations such as excessive commas, and incorrect placement of apostrophes and quotation marks, colons, and semi-colons. When in doubt, consult a basic style guide to check your usage. • Contractions. Contractions dramatically reduce the formality of your composition. Use the more formal “cannot,” “would not,” or “should not,” instead of “can’t,” “won’t,” or “shouldn’t.” • Slang and common colloquial words and expressions. Words and phrases like “a lot,” “ain’t,” “got,” “big,” “for sure,” “gonna,” “sort of,” “kinda,” and the like should never be used. • Clichés. These make your writing informal and unintentionally funny. However, when employed correctly, they can actually help add variety to your essay. • Repetitive use of words such as (“likewise,” “thus,” and the like). Keep a thesaurus handy so that you can vary your language. However, do not use “big” words just to impress the reader. • Vagueness. This may lead to open interpretation that does not express your ideas as well as more precise words would. "A few" or "enough" can often be replaced by a word that is more precise. Phrases such as these will only leave the reader confused. Make your claims clearer and justified.

Steps to Follow to Ensure the Further Improvement of a PS Once you have produced an essay by going through the steps enumerated above, you can improve it further by going through this last section for added measure. These will help you check for final errors.

A. Follow a simple checklist Five of the most important factors to consider in the finalization of your essay include the following items. Once you have addressed all of them, your essay is almost ready.

Grammar Spelling Coherence Transition Word count

B. Consult the opinions of your advisor/mentor/colleagues Allow someone to read through your essay. Ask for their opinions and keep these in mind. Do not forget that you can still revise your essay even up to your targeted day of submission.

C. Have your essay reviewed by professionals Finally, if you are still dissatisfied or simply want to enhance your chances of being accepted by creating a perfect PS for your application needs, then consider hiring the services of a professional like KGSupport. If this is your first time to compose a personal statement, chances are, you may still have missed a few points. Having your essay professionally evaluated therefore allows you to improve it by drawing on the expertise of professionals toward the further improvement of your essay. With thousands of edited essays to their credit, they can compare your work with those they have already evaluated and improve your essays in ways you cannot imagine.

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