Work Life Balance For Working Mothers: When To Say No

The old adage, if you want something done, ask a busy person is never truer for busy working mums. Things barely have time to sit on the things to do list before they are crossed off with such focused efficiency and a brisk pen line through the offending chore. This can mean, however, that you are top choice when it comes to asking favours from. Whether it be the numerous committees and PTAs that require your membership throughout your childrens' education, the organisation of your social circle's events management or just the scale of the home chores that land at your feet, the art of saying no is an important skill to learn. Follow these three top tops to get to grips with the habit.

1. Understanding the compulsion to say yes. Knowing your own motivations and psychological triggers can help you tame the agreeable beast within you. Take some time to think about the last time that you said yes to someone, even though the nagging, sickening feeling in your stomach was screaming that this would cause an overload to your system. Think through why you ended up saying yes. Does it stem from a need to appear in control at all costs, acquiescing new responsibilities would appear as a sign of weakness or failure? Does it derive from a belief that saying yes makes you popular and highly thought of? Do you think it would be easier to do it yourself? Is it led by a need to be permanently busy because having a five minute break in which you could evaluate your life, may cause too many difficult issues to be raised? Whatever the reason, knowing yourself and your tendencies can help you decide when you should be saying no.

2. Deciding when to say no. Have a set of questions to ask yourself when a new offer comes in. Ask yourself if you want to answer yes because of your motivations above. Challenge yourself if that is reason enough to agree to taking on the extra responsibility. Ask yourself if you have time to add extra workload to your already bust schedule as a working mum. Decide if the added task benefits you or your loved ones in anyway, or whether it could be detrimental to you all. By following a logical flow, it helps to take the emotion out of the equation.

3. How to say no. The important thing here is to be firm. Thank them for thinking of you but you just don't have the free time at the moment. Be very cautious of offering an apologetic 'if you can't find anyone else come back to me', because this is an equivalent of telling them not to bother finding anyone else, the role is ultimately filled. Additionally, try not to offer up alternative solutions or candidates, by taking responsibility for the outcome you are getting implicitly involved, albeit in a consultancy capacity, and this is the slippery slope to your name allocated to the task.

I hope the above tips have helped you learn how to say No to your family and friends and achieve more balance in your life.

Comments? Questions? Email Here

© HowtoAdvice.com

How to Advice .com