Leadership and the desire to be loved

Quite the title of an article for new executives and leaders of all levels and talents, huh? And yet I'm sure when you sit back and think about it, you've seen executives and leaders do some things you would never do or would admit to. Still not sure you've seen this phenomenon in action? Here is an example I've seen and it's not the first time. See if you recognize this...

A team of executives is asked to develop a model for deploying a new process. This includes looking at headcount, dollars, shifting work, creating new processes, all in an environment different from which they are lead today. They are also challenged with some restrictive budgets and timing to launch the new process.

Now, those executives who want to "shine" in this opportunity manage to create a model whereby all the parameters are met and exceeded. It's within budget, timing, process and location. It comes with some pain and a bit of a "fudge factor" but will of course come in as described. During the presentation, they feel really proud of sharing how they managed to meet the requirements as set out by senior executives. They avoided any challenges or questions around their plans. At the conclusion of the presentation, they felt warm and satisfied.

One executive on this team took a different approach. He did not agree with the parameters given and recognized the negative impact they would have in executing the new process. He was not going to force fit the model to meet the plan and instead looked for supporting reasons why the parameters should be re-examined. He developed a strong and sound recommendation to achieve a better result. It not only took some work and a strong will to challenge senior leaders, but he did so and succeeded. His desire to do the "right thing" for his team and the business were the major reasons for his success. Did he feel love from his colleagues in the end? Probably, more jealousy than love. Who do you think he loved in the end?

This is just an example of where wanting acknowledgement and love can cross the wires of being a leader. It's you who you live with and your spirit that manages the triumphs and losses in your day. Not your colleagues. And while it's never easy to step out on your own, when you do so having done your due diligence, gathered the facts, and presented them in a professional way that supports the business, you win on all accounts. And no matter what you can feel good about it.

The next time you are faced with a challenge that causes you to question do I want to do the right thing or be loved for saying the right thing, I remind you... Only you live with your choices and those who love you today, may not tomorrow.

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