Counseling - How to Become a Mind Reading Man

Women want to be surprised by their men. They want their man to know what they'd like. The man's ability to know what she is thinking and feeling is often seen by the woman as a measure of how much he loves her. Because he pays close attention to her wants and needs, he must therefore love her. The male perspective is different though. He is wanting to show her the space and respect he thinks she wants. He won't find out deep little secrets because he wants to respect her autonomy. In his mind it would be rude to pry, and yet for her prying can easily be seen as a means to creating more intimacy and connection.

Most women treasure having at least one very close female friend. This female friend is someone they feel safe enough with to share almost anything. This is an odd thought to a man. Why would he want to share everything with a close friend? The fact is, he doesn't want this level of intimate disclosure about himself.

When the choice is offered, women will almost always choose to be loved rather than respected. In the same circumstance, men would rather be respected than loved. This distinction is extremely important.

Men find themselves judging the needs of the woman in their life based on their own desires. To be loved, is what women want most, while men have a much greater desire to be respected. Men keep their distance from women out of a misguided belief that they are showing them respect.

If a man is going to help a woman feel more loved, he needs to adjust his approach to her. Acting more like a treasure hunter would serve him well. A woman wants to be known by her husband. Feeling loved has a strong connection to being known. The goal is simply to know her not to try and help her solve a problem. I understand this sounds bizarre men, but it's how it works with women.

A woman believes that if you love her, you would pursue her. Many men stop pursuing their wives because they don't understand what their wife is trying to say when they share their thoughts and feelings. Men are judged by their problem solving abilities. Men get overwhelmed by the amount women share because they think all the data represents problems to be solved. Finding solutions to problems is certainly one reason women talk. Women also share simply for the reason of creating closeness.

It's vital for men to learn how to ask probing questions and listen. Don't kid yourself though gentlemen. Even the hardiest of men can only listen for so long before they get overwhelmed. The male brain turns to porridge after about 15 minutes of an emotionally charged female data dump. It's vital to put a time limit on the sharing. If you can learn to do this on a regular basis, you will be creating a strong bond with your wife. She will feel more loved and you will be respected by her because of your skilful act.

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