What's It All About, Alfie?

The movie, Alfie, in which the title role was played by Michael Cain in 1966 and again in 2004 by Jude Law told the story of a joy riding womanizing man coming to terms with the meaning of life. "What have I got? Really? Some money in my pocket, some nice threads, fancy car at my disposal, and I'm single. Yeah... unattached, free as a bird... I don't depend on nobody and nobody depends on me... My life's my own. But I don't have peace of mind. And if you don't have that, you've got nothing. So... what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself. What's it all about? You know what I mean?"

We meet him as a self-absorbed rogue with a seemingly enviable care-free life on the surface. As we get to know him we discover a tragic character fiercely struggling with deep insecurities, profound loneliness and inability to have a relationship with anyone, especially his own son. As Alfie gradually begins to understand the consequences of his shallow lifestyle where sexual conquest was the only measure of a man. Hopping from one bed to another without a hint of a desire to connect beyond the titillating act, Alfie never meant to hurt anyone. And yet he did, including himself.

Hurt people hurt people.

To his lovers he is often a cruel cold man. To his son, his inability to speak from his heart, is especially heartless. In all of his pleasure seeking, he ultimately finds little pleasure at all. "Personally, I've always suspected that everyone else is having a far merrier Christmas than I am." Alfie begins to discover that philandering and infidelity isn't the gateway to the life of pleasure he really wants. Ultimately he wants its opposite, love and connection.

Where he once confused a need for love with a desire for sex he finally discovers real pleasure is in finding someone to love and living each day as if it were your last. "Strange. But even when you know it has to end, when it finally does, you always get that inevitable twinge: Have I done the right thing?"

Alfie mastered the art of looking for love, belonging and connection in all the wrong places. He finally realized that if he continued to play in his shallow sandbox, he'd come up feeling just as empty on that fateful day. What is, 'the right thing'? What's it all about for you?

We are unique in what, specifically, will give our lives a sense of meaning and purpose. Generally, its found in the ways in which we love, belong and connect with others. How we do this and how we express ourselves in this manner is grounded in individual passions and personal pursuits. If we only value sexual conquest as a measure of our worth and the worthiness of our lives then thousands of notches on our deathbed bedpost will make us feel like we lived 'right' and well. And we will feel empty and be alone in our inability to connect and belong to anyone who cared whether we passed or not.

If we discover our true passions, love openly and use our special gifts to make a profound positive impact then we will reflect upon our lives as a story well told. We will feel complete and be surrounded by those who were touched and enriched on a personal level by our presence and contribution. If you're still wondering "What's it all about?" ask yourself:

1. What do I value? 2. What will I stand for? 3. How do I wish to be remembered? 4. Where do I hold back on love for others and myself? 5. If this were my last day, how would I spend it?

And then align your life around what's true for you. Have the fortitude to express a fuller, more complete, self-actualized version of you - no matter what.

That's Moxie!

It's what you're here to do.

Comments? Questions? Email Here

© HowtoAdvice.com

How to Advice .com