Marital Relationship Just After An Extramarital Relationship And The Long Range Reliability
After finding out your mate was having an extramarital relationship there was quite a lot of feelings threatening to completely consume you but to your own absolute credit you were a lot stronger than you actually assumed. You confronted your mate with the facts and also were able to be in command of your personal rage as soon as they confessed.
Your mate said they were sorry and promised never to cheat again. You forgave them but told them very forcefully that things need to change and also that you need to see wholesale proof of those changes.
You also listed what you could do to assist them along with personal action steps you can take to improve the relationship. That's not to say you are accepting the blame for what your spouse did but you do acknowledge that it will take the both of you working together to save the marital relationship.
Yet at this moment you're filled with anxiety. The spouse is going to be taking a trip for at least a week.
It is tough enough that you have your misgivings every time they go out the door to the office but it passes. You actually call them at the job and they are there. When ever it is time for your spouse to come home they do.
Still this taking a trip for a number of days and nights sets it in a completely different region. Reassurances from your spouse have not helped the matter. Obviously they've made considerable progress but that is not making you feel any better regarding your mate being out of reach for several days.
You can of course go along with your mate. Make use of several vacation days from your place of work. This will likely strike you as some kind of babysitting and truth to tell it is. But what it also shows is you are not at the point you can really trust your spouse which is understandable.
Your significant other should also understand this and even invite you along if possible. Mind you that if they do take regular trips out of town then this is not always going to be feasible but at least in the early stages it can be of benefit to the both of you.
Another choice could be to begin a check in schedule. You can call them and vice versa. Should they be attending a conference for instance it can be possible they can send you their schedule and you as well as the significant other can time the calls accordingly. To take it a step further the both of you can utilize your cellular phones as webcams to keep an eye on them. There's also texting.
Do these things sound extreme? If so that's because they are. The moment your spouse committed infidelity they took it to the extreme. If they are serious about saving the marriage relationship then there are moments when they are going to need to accept a large amount of "you brought this on yourself".
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