How A Sewing Machine Got Me Out Of The Doghouse

I learned a long time ago to "never assume anything." So, I am not going to assume that you have heard the old expression, "He's in the doghouse." Just so you know the saying refers to a dispute between a husband and wife in which the man is relegated to sleeping in the doghouse. I could go on and on about what it means or feels like to be "in the doghouse," but I think you get the picture. The good news is that I got out of the doghouse with a sewing machine.

Not long ago my wife bought another piece of used furniture off Craig's List. If there is such a thing as a furniture addiction…then she has it. Our house has been decorated, re-decorated, and then decorated again. In fact, this cycle of continual change has been going on since we were first married 40 years ago.

For some reason (I really should know better), I challenged her latest purchase. Unfortunately, there was something in the words that I chose that got me in big trouble (the doghouse). I suggested that she had a "serious problem" and that, if there wasn't such an organization, that she needed to start her own chapter of "Furniture Addicts Anonymous."

Following that unfortunate comment she just shut up, went about her business, and acted as if I was invisible. I had entered the very unpleasant world I call, "The Icy Zone."

I don't know where women learn the "icy" treatment. Maybe they attend seminars when they are little girls. Possibly it is learned from their mothers. Based on the discussions that I have had with other men it is something that all women have mastered. In fact, the "ice" can last for hours…even days.

Since I am a veteran of the marriage wars I have learned a few tricks to thaw the ice. Well, actually only one. So, after two days of exposure to the cold of winter in the middle of summer…I headed off to my local Wal-Mart. To restore order to my household it was time to do something radical. "Buy her something that she really wants."

"What is it she really wants, besides more furniture?" I pondered. "That's it! I'll feed her other addiction! She loves fabric as much as furniture and she has complained that the old sewing machine was inadequate for making new draperies." So off I went to purchase a… sewing machine.

I know what you're thinking. "Wuss. Wimp." Sorry, but drastic times require drastic measures.

Proudly I marched into the kitchen, sat the large box on the table, and retired to my office. Almost instantly, the silence was broken. "What is this?" she yelled down the hall. I didn't respond. A few moments later she was standing in the doorway. "I love it. It's just what I wanted. Buy why did you get it for me?" To which I just smiled and said, "You're welcome."

People often ask me, "What's the secret to a long happy marriage?" I can't speak for every man…but I know what has worked for me. In my opinion, that famous line from the old movie, Love Story, is dead wrong. Love does require you to say "you're sorry."

Now, once again, there is peace in my home. And I owe it all to… a sewing machine. She got what she wanted… and I got what I wanted.

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