Parenting Tips: Reflect Back on Yourself
You loved soccer when you were young, so you are having a hard time understanding why your daughter puts up a fuss everytime you have to get ready for a practice or a game. She seems to hate it, and its driving you mad. Here's a great parenting tip for this moment. Stop and ask "Why is this so important to me?" Positive parenting involves understanding our own background, and taking the time to figure out whether it's really necessary to react in this way.
Sometimes, parents need to pause for a moment and think about their own actions. It's not enough to understand what your child is thinking, and their motives for behaviour. You also need to shine that same spotlight on yourself, on your thoughts and your own motives.
You may have loved playing soccer, but your daughter doesn't. Whatever the reason may be, she is just not interested in the game. Look deep inside, and ask why this soccer team is so important to you. Are you wanting your daughter to be more like you were as a child? What you really want is for your daughter to have fun, stay active, and build a sense of team play. So, talk to your daughter. Is there some other sport she might prefer, that would achieve the same thing? Perhaps she loves swimming, or basketball.
Don't get hung up on what you did when you were little, and then project yourself and your background onto your child.
Times are different. You are not like your parents, and in many ways, your child is not like you.
Sometimes, when our child isn't doing what we want them to do, it's important to ask ourselves why this is so important to us.
Ask if it is really necessary for you to respond in this way, and think about what effect your reaction is having.
It's entirely possible that the problem behaviour is not your child's, but yours.
The goal of having you look at your own past and your own thought process is to help you put your child's behaviour in perspective. We want to teach our children how to make fair decisions, so we need to be clear that our decisions are also fair.
Sometimes, parents act with out-dated thinking, especially when we were raised a certain way. We use old-fashioned parenting techniques because that's how we were raised. While those parenting tips may have seemed right to our parents, there are some ideas that just don't work anymore. Positive parenting means understanding our children, and finding ways to teach them to be happy with who they are, and what they are doing. The best way to do this, is to understand ourselves, and be ready to decide what is best for each child.
About the Author
If you would like to read more about "Positive Discipline for Children" and why you need to make a break from your past, you can do so here http://www.positivedisciplineforchildren.com
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