Defrazzle with Romance

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable." Benjamin Franklin

I think, if we were honest with ourselves, we would find that while we, as moms, long for romance and passion, we just don't have the energy to make it happen. At the end of our day, all we really want to do is fall into bed, and sleep the sleep of the dead (well, not quite dead, but you know what I mean!) We wonder if passion will ever return, or if we're doomed to spending the rest of our lives in dullsville.

There is hope! Romance doesn't have to be really difficult, and passion can still co-exist quite comfortably with young kids. Here are some ideas:

• Invest in the “10-Second Kiss”: Every day when you say goodbye to your husband, take time to kiss him properly for at least 10 seconds. Enjoy the buzz, and savour it throughout the day.

• Slow Down: Make sure there is at least one day a week when life isn't crazy and hectic. Sit down together and work with your calendar of activities until you have some space worked into your schedule. Romance doesn't work if you're exhausted.

• Schedule Date Nights: Work together with another couple in the same situation and trade off babysitting every other week so you can go out with your husband. Just take a long walk, or go for a drive, or sit in a coffee-shop and just talk.

• Dream: dream about your husband, your good memories together, times you've laughed together, times of passion and romance that you've shared. Journal every good experience together and review your journal often.

• Spend time just cuddling. Watch a romantic movie together cuddled up on the couch

• Touch each other often. When standing in a line-up, while walking through the mall or grocery store, while eating dinner – find moments to just touch each other – hold hands, rest a hand on your spouse’s knee, put your arm around them, etc.

• Study up on Romance: there are great books in the library on romancing your husband, and just reading them can often “get you in the mood”!

• Kiss each other goodnight – slowly!

Sometimes, just making the decision to work on romance is a help and it will open doors to more opportunities as the days progress. Focus on finding opportunities, and have the courage to follow through with any opportunity that arises.

Here’s the best tip of all:

• Think “Benefits”: a healthy (particularly monogamous) sex life improves the immune system, releases endorphins – the hormone that make you happy, slows the aging process, lowers cholesterol, increases circulation, reduces stress, and is an excellent form of exercise!

So, love on!

Darlene Hull

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