The Facts About Teens With Asperger's And Sexuality

Question

I need help in teaching my daughter appropriate sexual behavior. She will be 16 in June, has Aspergers, and acts out sexually. She feels this is what she is "supposed" to do when she likes a boy, and I just can't get her to feel moral values.

Answer

Teens and their parents need to address Aspergers sexuality in a very straightforward manner. A 16 year old girl with Aspergers Syndrome will have a fully developed female body, but is unlikely to have the full understanding of adolescent sexuality. Teenagers with Aspergers do not acquire the "street smarts" learned from experience when it comes to dating or sex. You will have to be very concrete in your advice and rules when it comes to this, because she will lack an innate understanding of the issue. Depending on her exposure to popular media, she may have formulated an impression of sexuality from the licentious celebrities that become well-known for their drug use and promiscuous behavior. Aspergers sexuality can be highly affected by these influences and your daughter might believe that behaviors such as candid flirtation, physical sexual cues and sexual language are normal. She may even think sexual activity is expected and what she is "supposed to do" when she likes a boy. The media message is loud and clear!

Your daughter needs the advice of a professional counselor since she is now exhibiting behavior that could lead to very severe consequences. Your daughter is an adolescent and she wants to develop an identity separate form yours. One aspect of this development is her need to challenge your advice and beliefs. Many parents can feel that if they don't make friends with their child at this stage that they will have constant conflict in the home. In doing this, they abdicate their parental responsibility, and children suffer in the process. Your daughter needs to have clear and precise rules when she is living in your home. You know the possible consequences of overt sexual behavior and out of control Aspergers sexuality, she does not.

She may not understand why you are imposing rules. You should stress that they are for her benefit. Explain this in very specific terms, such as to protect her from sexual diseases and pregnancy. Remind her that this is for her future benefit as well and it is important to think about long term consequences. Explain very specifically what will happen to her if she gets a sexually transmitted disease or becomes pregnant. These concrete facts will go a lot further in changing her behavior than vague conversations about "morality." Aspergers sexuality must be made very factual for her.

It is very important that you teach your daughter about sex. She needs specific details about responsible sexual behavior and the consequences of reckless actions. Start with basic sex education and move on from there. Encourage her to express her feelings in a straightforward and honest manner. You have to replace her thoughts that freely expressing her sexuality is expected. Instead, teach her to focus on the facts that you teach her. Asperger's sexuality needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

The area of sexuality and teens is a complex one for all parents. But when the teen has Aspergers it can be even more complex, so please use the points in my article as a starting point in working with your own teenager. Good luck!

Comments? Questions? Email Here

© HowtoAdvice.com

How to Advice .com