Quickies By Martin Kloess

Limreicks have long been a popular form of poetry in the world of literature. Sometimes they are nonsensical ryhmes written for children, but adults are also offered more sophicated versions, usually off color, if only slightly. The following limericks have been well recieved by many readers.

Another Sailor's Tail Take

They paddled till we reached the shore Where I set them free to explore Then back to the sea This sailor did flee They'll not paddle me anymore

The Mystery Of The Hellish Yell

The specter once more was entombed Surrounded by gloom it now loomed Then from some hell A banshee did yell As service to cell phone resumed

Don't Tell Me I'm Not A Man

Oh I'd get my sex every night No question was further from sight For do what she can I too had a plan I'd say I'm a man she'd say right A Gift Lesson For The New Guys

She says please don't buy me a gift A way of proclaiming her thrift But please be aware As sure as there's air If gift isn't there she'll be miffed

This Title Doesn't Get Better

Wee Pete won the title wife beater He loved her he wouldn't mistreat her The quiz of the day Was romping and hay Here Pete was the fastest completer

You Might Have Heard This One On A Cruise Ship

The fact that he sleeps like a log Would certainly not make mind bog Of when he flips The bed sometimes tips His snoring guides ships through the fog

My Heater

The cold is not getting me down I have the best heater in town My wife has a fit And tells me to quit The smells I emit make her frown

The Mighty One

There never was hero so bold This epic of legends of old As his glory spread The unworthy fled But now he's in bed with a cold

Some Things Require More Than An Education

The ladies all laughed at the fool They wondered where he went to school But he'd learn forthwith To change this myth Of handyman without a tool

Call To The Wild

His married life now had begun Whenever she'd call he would run Not even a wall Would stall him at all To see if she's calling for fun Cooking With

Not really sure just what he said To turn his dear wife's face so red But one thing he knew Before she was through She'd brew a new stew for his head

His Speed Was Great For Some Races

Again the young man took his place He knew in his mind he'd outpace For here is the hex Which makes this complex His date's here for sex not a race

The Brave New World

He came from a world they call shower And he never knew of it's power For even the sun Sensed when he was done For it changed a son into flower

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