Christian Life Coaching - It's About NOT Apologizing?

This Year Set Yourself Free From Awful Apologies!

I'm sorry, rolls off the tongue so simply. One can say it without even trying. Often it is done to get the situation over with. Sometimes, it is a way to make a casual effort toward reconciliation. An apology is nowhere to be found in the Scriptures. In fact, it should be absent because it hidesa real and authentic intercourse.

We have been habituated with the words, "I'm sorry." There are two things wrong with rendering an apology.

1. It is a humanistic, deficient counterfeit for the real thing. It is man's replacement for God's perfect way. 2. It allows the other person to give a deficient acknowledgement.

Let's examine it further, God's requirement for estranged relationship is forgiveness. As long as the Christian can say the words, "I'm sorry" (or words to that effect) instead of "I sinned, please forgive me" they are able to underplay the action. They have not completely confessed before the Lord and to the offended party. The deep healing and authentic solutions that could have occurred through forgiveness has been expunged. An apology is nothing more than an articulation of your own feelings. To admit to the other person what you did that was a sin and ask to be forgiven is totally different.

The other side of the problem is that the one injured or hurt will have the usual response of "Oh, that's ok." Again because we are trainedto understand that as the proper (read: Christian) thing to do. But when someone says, "Will you forgive me?" A whole new brand of reaction is required. There has been a shift in responsibility. Both sides are now required to put the sin behind them.

This method of confession and forgiveness is an exchange that has obligations for both sides. The confessor is admitting his sin and saying what the wrongs involved. This involves repenting (a heart condition) and confession (an outward action). He is also pleading for grace and mercy (forgiveness) from the one whom he has wronged. But, an apology comes from sadness often about the repercussions of the sin, not what it does to the other party. To tell the other person that you have wronged them and God, demonstrates that you are take it very seriously.

Forgiveness credits it a pardon for the sin. A response like, "Awww, it's ok" or "Hey, don't worry about it" minimizes the sin. A right biblical response would be "Yes, I understand and I forgive you." That kind of forgiveness comes with the promise that the issue won't be brought up again. It won't be vented with others, and it won't be allowed to linger in the forgivers mind. Forgiveness asks for a commitment and receives one. Forgiveness leads to forgetting the offense. It is a pledge toward a new and deeper relationship. An apology can't even come close to the Biblical model for restoring relationship.

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