Emotional Mastery
Change Your Life Forever
Your emotions are what have driven you to this book. They are the fuel under the decisions you make intellectually. Let us master them and create ever lasting change. Everybody has dreams. For some however, these dreams have dissipated due to the common stresses of daily life. We lose sight of our dreams and start believing we will never be what we dream of becoming. You need to raise your own personal standards by changing what you demand of yourself. Never settle for less that what you can be. Change happens in an instant!
“Behold, I show you a mystery; we shall not all sleep but we shall all be changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye….” - CORINTHIANS 15:51 All changes are created in a moment. In reality it is only difficult because we don’t know how to change. Willpower itself is not enough - once we effect change, we should re-enforce it immediately – then we have to condition our nervous systems to succeed, not just once, but constantly. “Things do not change; we change!” - HENRY DAVID THOREAU The first believe we must have if we’re going to create change quickly is that we can change now. We must adopt the belief that we can change in a moment. After all, if you can create a problem in a moment, you should be able to create a solution too! The second believe that you and I must have if we are going to create long-term change is that we are responsible for our own change, not anyone else. In preparation for this journey, remember these points:- • You must believe ‘something must change’ • You must believe ‘you must change it’ • You must believe ‘you can change it’
You have to be the source of your change. Nothing changes unless we change the sensations we link to an experience in our nervous systems. PART 1 There is no true success without emotional success. Human being are not random creatures; everything we do we do for a reason. There is a single driving force behind all human behavior. This force impacts every facet of our lives. What is it? This force that is controlling you even as you read these words? PAIN and PLEASURE. Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure. When we understand the forces of pain and pleasure and how to use them we will create the lasting change and improvements that we desire for ourselves. Read the above paragraph again and let it sink in. Think about this. Why don’t you do some of the things you know you should do? At some level, you believe that taking action in the moment would be more painful that just putting it off. Yet, have you ever had the experience of putting something off for so long that suddenly you felt pressure to just do it, to get it done? What happened? You changed what you linked pain and pleasure to. Suddenly not taking action became more painful that putting it off. “A man, who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.” If we link massive pain to any behavior or emotional pattern, we will avoid indulging in it at all costs. We can use this understanding to harness the force of pain and pleasure to change virtually anything in our lives. “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the think itself but by your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment” - MARCUS AURELIUS PART 2 If we fail to direct our own association to pain and pleasure, we’re living no better than animals or machines, continually reacting to our environment, allowing whatever come up next to determine the direction and quality of our lives. “Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understanding’ - LORD CHESTERFIELD What drives our behavior is instinctive reaction to pain and pleasure, not intellectual calculation. Intellectually we may believe that eating chocolate is bad for us, but we’ll still reach for it. Why? Because we’re not driven so much by what we intellectually know, but rather by what we’ve learnt to link pain and pleasure to in our nervous systems. In order for change to last, we must link pain to our old behavior and pleasure to our new behavior, and condition it until it’s consistent. Remember, we will all do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. We can learn to condition our minds, bodies and emotions to link pain and pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to we instantly change our behaviors. With dieting for example, all you must do is link enough pain to being overweight and enough pleasure to being slender and healthy. You have the ability to do this right now, but you might not exercise this capability because you’ve trained your body to link pleasure to eating those fries and burgers. You fear that stopping would be too painful. Yet, if you meet anyone who has lost those unwanted kilos you will find that this behavior changed in one day. The day they truly changed what being overweight meant to them. “I conceive that pleasures are to be avoided if greater pains be the consequence, and pains be coveted that will terminate in greater pleasures.” - MICHAEL DE MONTAGUE CONCLUSION Let’s make some changes right now! Take out your note book and do these exercises with me right now. First, write down 4 actions that you need to take that you’ve been putting off. You may need to lose some weight or stop smoking. You may need to contact someone you’ve had a fall out with or reconnect with someone you love.
Second, under each of these actions, write down the answer to the following question: Why haven’t I taken action? What pain do I link to taking this action? This will help you understand what has held you back. What pain have you associated with taking that action?
Third, write down all the pleasure you‘ve had in the past by indulging in this negative pattern. I.e. what pleasure have you had by eating that big bag of chips? Is it because it makes you feel good right now? It gives you pleasure! Instant pleasure! No one wants to give up these feelings! We need to find a new way to get the same pleasure without any negative consequences. Fourth, write down what it will cost you if you don’t change now. What will happen if you don’t stop eating so much sugar and fat? If you don’t stop smoking. If you don’t make that phone call.. Be honest with yourself. What is it going to cost you over the next two, three, four, five years? What is it going to cost you emotionally? In terms of self-image? In terms of your physical energy level?
How does the above make you feel? Don’t just say “I will be fat.” That’s not enough. Remember what drives us is our emotions. Get associated and use pain as your friend, one that can drive you to a new level of success.
The Final step is to write down all the pleasures you’ll receive by taking each of these actions right now. Make a huge list that will drive you emotionally. i.e. “I’ll gain the feeling of really being in control of my life. Self-confidence…. By taking this action I will live my dream! I encourage you to take time right now to complete this exercise and take advantage of the great momentum you’ve been building up as you’ve moved through this book.
If you are really excited about what you can achieve, please feel free to order the other booklets which will help to empower you in all the other areas of your life. 1. Emotional Mastery 2. Physical Mastery 3. Relationship Mastery 4. Financial Mastery 5. Time Mastery
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